London Officials Launch A New Inquest Into The Death Of Amy Winehouse

On Amy Winehouse’s death certificate, it says that her official cause of death is “death by misadventure,” which sort of makes it sound like she died in a water raft accident with The Rescuers. But it means that there were no illegal drugs found in her system and she wasn’t the victim of foul play. Amy Winehouse died of accidental alcohol poisoning….maybe. Over a year after her death, the coroner’s inquest into the death of Amy Winehouse will be reheard.

The Camden New Journal says the reason is because Suzanne Greenway, the assistant deputy coroner who ran the inquiry into Amy’s death, doesn’t really have the qualifications needed to fill the position and all of us could probably beat her in a game of Operation. Suzanne apparently only got the job, because she was slurping on the right peen. She’s married to Andrew Reid, a fellow coroner who gave her the position. They’ve both resigned.

Since Suzanne Greenway didn’t have the experience needed to officially declare a cause of death, London officials are launching a new inquest to make sure nothing was missed. Amy Winehouse’s family says that they have nothing to do with the new inquest. The new inquest will be heard on January 8, 2013.

Suzanne Greenway was totally wrong, obviously, and when the new inquest is finally heard, officials will correct Amy Winehouse’s death certificate and state that her official cause of death is: BLAAAAAAAAAKE!