Since Charlie Sheen has a such a giving heart and is always happy to bail out a fellow coke whore, he gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000 as a gift a couple of weeks ago. Charlie said that the $100,000 was for a “project” (read: a rim job since not even School Teacher from Hookers at the Point would tongue tickle Charlie’s b-hole for $100,000) and then he whined to the media about she never gave him a thank you of any kind. Lindsay Lohan ungrateful and rude?! NEVAH!
TMZ says that after Charlie Sheen called Lindsay Lohan out for being a rude bitch, she sent him a bouquet of flowers and a thank you card. Some source says that LiLo didn’t thank Charlie for contributing to the vodka industry by giving her $100k, because her phone broke and she lost all of her contacts including his number. Yes, Lindsay Lohan could’ve stuffed a rolled thank you note in the cooch of a random L.A. call girl and it would’ve gotten to Charlie Sheen in under 24 hours. But since her brain is a cocaine breast implant, she didn’t think of that and came up with another amazing excuse that will go in her upcoming book: Lindsay Lohan’s Book Of Excuses NOT TO USE If You Want Your Excuse To Sound Somewhat Believable.
It’s the thought that counts, but who gives Charlie Sheen flowers? FLOWERS?! That’s like giving Jessica Simpson vegetables as a gift or giving John Travolta a rubber vagina for a gift. What is Charlie Sheen supposed to do with dumb flowers that Lindsay Lohan probably picked from somebody’s front yard? Actually, I shouldn’t say that. LiLo knows Charlie Sheen too well, so I’m sure she gave him a beautiful bouquet of morning glory seed packets.