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December 15, 2012 / Posted by:

The AOL CD that terrorized everybody in the 90s!

We should all be shocked and surprised that we actually made it out of the 90s without drowning under a mountain and sea of the CDs that AOL sent out every millisecond of every day. Those evil overlords at AOL tried to take over the world one installation CD at a time, so if you were around in the 90s, you probably got one of these in your mailbox every single day. AOL reproduced those damn CDs faster than roaches produce roaches, bunnies produce bunnies and the Duggars produce Duggars. They not only came in the mail, but you could get them at schools, drugstores, grocery stores, Blockbusters and everywhere else. They grew on trees, infected your nightmares and when you looked into the toilet after taking a caca to see if you were “healthy,” your shit wasn’t banana-shaped, it was shaped like an AOL CD.  In 1998, the CDC reported that the AOL installation disc was the fastest spreading virus of the 90s. It was like a non-stop herpes outbreak for your mailbox.

I don’t know if anybody actually used the AOL CD to install AOL onto their computer. They used it for everything else, though. It was used as a pizza cutter, a touch-up mirror, a portable coke-snortin’ surface, a frisbee, a drink coaster and a cock ring for Enrique Iglesias. If you collected enough, you could make a one-of-a-kind classy bikini or you could retile your bathroom with them.

And if you’re getting nostalgic for one, stand up and look at the seat of your chair. I’m sure you farted one out while reminiscing about them. Even though AOL doesn’t make them anymore, they’re still never going to go away.

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