Somebody’s Going To Marry Janice Dickinson

December 14, 2012 / Posted by:

Gold diggers of the world, you now have a new icon to pay tribute to. Janice Dickinson is proving that you can never be too insane or plastic faced to catch a rich ass husband. Take note, Lindsay Lohan. The world’s first supermodel (the world being the bubble of craziness she lives in) tells TooFab that sometime next spring, she will become somebody’s wife for the fourth time and will become a doctor’s wife for the first time. Janice’s piece of a few months Dr. Robert Gerner, who has a cautious look on his face like he’s always prepared to be slapped with a silicone titty bag by a crazed banshee, gave her a diamond Victorian promise ring and he will give her a real engagement ring sometime soon.

Janice and Dr. Robert’s love started blooming a few months ago when they met on a blind date at Chateau Marmont. Janice said she knew right away that he’s the one whose life she wants to ruin and went on to say that “he’s the ying to my yang.” Janice and Dr. Robert recently bought a Hollywood Hills home together and they’re throwing a housewarming/engagement party this weekend. They’ve invited Kunty Karl (no joke), Donatella Versace (no joke), Sandra Bullock (no joke) and Slash (he’ll probably show up).

You’re probably assuming that Dr. Robert is a plastic surgeon, because he obviously appreciates a non biodegradable goddess who has been shellacked a thousand times over, but you’re wrong. The punchline is that Dr. Robert is a psychiatrist. I know, it’s almost as if Dr. Robert is an undercover agent for The Los Angeles County Department Of Mental Health and was hired to lure Janice Dickinson to their “new love nest in the Hollywood Hills” (aka Cedars Sinai Psychiatry Department). It’s a set up! Run, Janice, ruuuuuuuun (but not before you grab Dr. Robert’s empty prescription pad and all his samples of Xanax).

(Pic via Flickr)

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