Police Stop A Convicted Killer's Plan To Murder And Castrate Justin Bieber
File this under: Some "Coen Brothers movie for the Disney Channel" type shit.
Dana Martin (no relation to Donna Martin, I think), a convicted killer who is serving two life sentences for raping and murdering a 15-year-old girl in Vermont, wanted to keep terrorizing the country from behind bars, so he hooked up with two criminals and wanted them to keep his murder spree going. Dana Martin met fellow evil doer Mark Staake in a prison in New Mexico and together they planned several murders. Once Mark got out of prison, he and his nephew Tanner Ruane were supposed to murder two of Dana Martin's acquaintances in Vermont. They were supposed to strangle their victims with a paisley tie, because the paisley tie is Dana's signature. The crazy bitch is a regular fashionista. Once Mark and Tanner took out their first victims, they were supposed to travel to NYC and murder the Canadian baby Jesus known as Justin Bieber at his show at MSG in late November.
Dana got detailed in his instructions. He wanted Tanner and Mark to sneak backstage and strangle both Justin and his bodyguard with a paisley tie. Once they finished that, Tanner was supposed to cut both of their balls off. You can't castrate a castrati, but Tanner was going to try. KRQUE says Dana was going to pay Tanner and Mark $2,500 for each set of balls they cut off.
If this mess wasn't already weird, it gets weirder. Dana Martin is obsessed with Justin Bieber, obviously, and he has a tattoo of the Biebs' face on his leg. Early one morning while Dana was softly brushing the leg hair above his Bieber tattoo, he stared deep into the inky eyes of his Bieber tattoo and he suddenly realized that he could never hurt the pretty face of a singing unicorn fetus. So Dana Martin called the police and told them about his scheme. Dana Martin turned Mark and Tanner in. Mark was arrested in Vermont on outstanding warrants. They were able to arrest Tanner in New York after cops recorded a conversation between him and Dana Martin. Tanner told Dana Martin that he's sad he didn't get to murder anybody.
The Lesbeaver's manager tells UsWeekly that they take every precaution to make sure that their little money maker is always okay.
The authorities need to take this extremely seriously and laws should be put in place to make sure this never happens again. What I mean by that is anybody with a Justin Bieber tattoo needs to be thrown on death row before they start strangling people with paisley ties! But seriously, Dana Martin is in danger, girl. Dana Martin is a cold-blooded monster with the heart of Lucifer, but he's never screwed with the relentless Beliebers before. Once they get through with him, he'll be wishing he had a paisley tie to hang himself with. Don't screw with a Belieber who's got nothing but a whole lot of time in homeroom and a stack of lined paper to write crazy letter after crazy letter.
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Do the world a favor and shut up and bleed.
Damn Jack that is some screwed up crap, man. At least you weren't the next one.
Submitted by Angus E. Parvo on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 7:09pm.
I bet a tattoo of Bieber gets MAD respect in prison
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HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! no shit... I didn't think about that.
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
I bet a tattoo of Bieber gets MAD respect in prison
Too bad they couldn't navigate past Canada.
http://www.kirotv.com/ap/ap/crime/documents-prisoner-plotted-to-kill-jus...
Are those shades covering up a black eye? His right eye looks like it has bruising under those shades. Did he tour with Chris Brown? You know how Chris do when it comes to smackin the ladies...Sorry, I couldn't resist...
Also wtf? It seems like I along with many other Dlisters have been stalked,followed or just straight up been creeped on... Stay safe my Dlisted brethren. We might have our moments of insanity on here, but holy fuck, after all these stories, we can take comfort in knowing we aren't on that level of cray-cray.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
He's starting to look like Vanilla Ice
Foiled again.
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 2:08pm.
You Sir are a massmurdering loser and a tease.
****
LMFAO!
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
You Sir are a massmurdering loser and a tease.
--
Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 1:29pm.
I would battle a thousand dragons to get a whiff of the heavenly scent that is sweaty shame in the morning!!
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
People are fucking insane. Reading Jack's story just made all my phobias even greater. GOD DAMN! As if I wasn't scared of shit enough. Keep your eyes wide open, people!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
*smacks Jack upside the head* See Jack! Your hunt for pussy could have gotten you killed. *Smacks head again*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Jack
I had a few get on my car guys that followed me etc... No one turned out as a freaking serial killer though. That shit is scary.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 12:30pm.
LOL!!! I have a hard time talking to women MUCH LESS WHIPPING OUT JACK JR AKA SNATCH BLASTER!!
Oh, please... like any DLister would ever believe that story, Jacko..
i think Dana meant "clitoral reduction surgery." "castrate" is just easier to say.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by cake coke and JACK'S cock on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 12:30pm.
sun-in bleached mullet, tight button up 501s with bleach spots and high-tops, unlaced... you fuckin a right. :P
about the pics... NO SHIT!!!!!!! WTF would buy that shit!!?
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Virgin Queen on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 12:02pm.
LOL!!! I have a hard time talking to women MUCH LESS WHIPPING OUT JACK JR AKA SNATCH BLASTER!!
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Jack you musta been real purdy at 16. That's some scary shit. And how fucked up is that you can purchase a picture of that guy with a choice of glossy, matte and lustre finish?
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:40am.
One night back in 1987 at 2am on a sat night I snuck out to go see my gf...
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O. M. G.
That is so fucking scary.
Run, Jack run. No pussy is worth that sh*t.
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
Actually, I thought it was pretty funny at the time but was annoyed that the police didn't take it a little more seriously. Never did figure out who it was (all the photos were from the waist down).
Now just this summer, a young guy turned up at my door and said "You think you're looking for love but I think you're looking for THIS" and whipped out his junk. I burst out laughing and said, wait while I go get a magnifying glass and then shut the door.
He'd seen me on a dating site and I'm in a really small town. A few weeks later I spotted him talking to someone I knew. Found out he was barely 21. Found out who his parents were. Went and had a little conversation with his mommy about his behavior. He RUNS AWAY whenever he sees me now.
Submitted by Virgin Queen on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 11:46am.
Holy shit, Jack!
I once had a guy follow me around town leaving Polaroid photos of his penis under my car's windshield wiper blades. Cops thought it was funny.
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LOL!!! That's fucked up, but had to be scary as shit for you.... I trust no one. The girl I'm dating now has an ex-husband who is fucking insane.. lih-tru-lee. He sends her a text every now and then with a random fact ABOUT ME that's usually pretty personal and private. I've never met him. It creeps me the fuck out.
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Holy shit, Jack!
I once had a guy follow me around town leaving Polaroid photos of his penis under my car's windshield wiper blades. Cops thought it was funny.
One night back in 1987 at 2am on a sat night I snuck out to go see my gf... About a block away from her house this car came out of nowhere and pulled up beside me (residential neighborhood). Typically, at 16 at 2am if I saw a car I would have hid behind bushes or some shit but this car seemed to appear out of nowhere. The driver leaned over, opened up the passenger door and told me to get in, he was taking me home... The car was identical to a friend's Dad's car so at first I leaned down and was like WTF man don't tell my parents and then fucking POW! I realized it was not my friends dad, but some creepy looking fucker with big ole goofy glasses... I told him I was good that I was only a block away from where I was going... at this point I'm a little creeped out as he continues to insist on me getting in the car... when he looked at me, gritted his teeth and yelled GET IN! I said fuck you brotha and HAULED. ASS. full out sprint to my gf's house... I could hear his car rev up as he was fucking chasing me... I got to my gf's house beat on the door yelling for help... the guy gets out of the car and starts running towards me and as he gets about halfway up the drive the front door opens, I push my gf's dad inside and shut and lock the door... the guy gets in his car and drives off. My gf's dad was a little pissed about the whole situation (since I was coming over to fuck his daughter) but immediately forgot about it after seeing this creepy dude chasing me and the look of total fear on my face...
Three years later, a man was arrested and convicted of multiple murders in our somewhat small town... When his picture came up on the news I almost fucking DIED... it was the same fucker that chased me that night... jacko got fucking lucky the dude was older and not as quick. True story.
His picture:
http://trphotos.mycapture.com/mycapture/enlarge.asp?image=41655117&event...
His story:
http://murderpedia.org/male.W/w1/wallace-george-kent.htm
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
I can't wholeheartedly laugh because the dude raped and killed a teenage girl. Damn.
Sarah Smile
The clown has NO penis...
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
*hugs Meatblocks*
My first reaction to this like many of you thought as well: "He can't be castrated! He has no penis!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
you're right, haribo, it's action(s) that count and we was robbed.
fuckin dana.
*kicks a can forlornly*
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 10:36am.
Indeed! And I can totally picture him sucking on his thumb too. ;/
Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 10:21am.
While I agree it's the thought that counts, I still believe actions speak louder than words. *whistles*
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Submitted by miz cynical: "This is crazy. I also think that this guy is a bit overly optimistic if he thought that they were going to be able to strangle Bieber's bodyguard. Bieber, yes, he wieghs 100 lbs soaking wet. The guys that surround Bieber? No fucking way."
Right? And how was he going to pay them?
Also, why did he orchestrate this huge plan and then expose it? It sounds like Dana Martin was trying to screw this guy over big time. He's in jail for the rest of his life anyway, so what additional punishment is there? Maybe solitary?
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 10:23am.
and his special blankie too... ugh. this kid..
Yo Biebs, the 90's called.....
you a douche.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 10:09am.
So now this little girl thinks he's all hard core and shit...... sigh.
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Lol! It's just an act. He still hugs his teddy bear before bed time.
OT: I still fail to understand how he became famous. I honestly don't think he's that talented. His singing sucks balls.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
well, at least they tried.
it's the thought that counts.
and OMFG -is this what shitheads are wearing today? fucking fat lady polyester pants circa 1977?
FUCK MY EYES!
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Mani-you HO HO HOr!
We doesn't have enough people in Vermont to be the creepiest.
Will someone tell a joke I haz the sads.
Thanks ever so much!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
So now this little girl thinks he's all hard core and shit...... sigh.
Festivus miracle foiled. :(
::wags finger:: Dana, Mark - I am very disappurnted in you.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 9:27am.
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 9:18am.
I know!!! LOL!!!
Btw, I love your gummy bears...and your av. :D
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Aww thanx!! Those gummy bears are tasty but they are deadly for the teeth, unfortunately.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Submitted by BoredSlore on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 9:27am.
Ladies Ladies Ladies....... Don't fear being 'napped.
Just get fat! Never see or hear of Fat Bitches getting snatched.
:::Stuffs another Bacon Cream Cheese *muffin* into my maw:::
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oh my! this fish must've went to college!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Ladies Ladies Ladies....... Don't fear being 'napped.
Just get fat! Never see or hear of Fat Bitches getting snatched.
:::Stuffs another Bacon Cream Cheese *muffin* into my maw:::
Unless they want your skin for a suit!
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 9:18am.
I know!!! LOL!!!
Btw, I love your gummy bears...and your av. :D
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Thu, 12/13/2012 - 9:08am.
I'm so conflicted about this. On one hand, no more Bieber. On the other, he'd be deified if he were murdered.
It's a tough one.
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One of the two has to be the lesser of two evils!! :P Kidding kidding...
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
I'm so conflicted about this. On one hand, no more Bieber. On the other, he'd be deified if he were murdered.
It's a tough one.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
This is crazy. I also think that this guy is a bit overly optimistic if he thought that they were going to be able to strangle Bieber's bodyguard. Bieber, yes, he wieghs 100 lbs soaking wet. The guys that surround Bieber? No fucking way.
*Checks calendar* Nope, not April 1st.
I haven't had any serial killers trying to axe me yet but I've had drunks, drug addicts and the homeless approaching me and trying to get some money from my broke ass. This one guy in NYC wanted me to take him to lunch and pay for it!!! A complete stranger who approached me in NYC near Hunter College.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'