And The Golden Globe For The Best Golden Shower On Zac Efron Goes To….

December 13, 2012 / Posted by:

Because the Golden Globes had to recognize a mess of a movie where Zac Efron dances in the rain in his chonies and Matthew McConaughey (SPOILER ALERT) is the pass-around bottom bitch of choice for black dom tops in Florida, Nicole Kidman got a Best Supporting Actress nomination this morning. In The Paperboy, Nicole squatted over Zac Efron and had a hands-free coochie seizure while staring at a white trash-ified John Cusack, so they should just give her that GG right now. Her and her bladder earned it.

The Golden Globe nominations for all 534 categories were announced when the sun was still down early this morning and the biggest snub bitches are screaming about is the little girl from Beasts of the Southern Wild not getting nominated for Best Actress in a Drama. My guess is because she’s 9-years-old and one of the GG rules is that all nominees must get at least ten shades of shit-faced drunk during the show, so that the producers can always cut to them making droopy-eyed drunk faces throughout the night. Since she can’t legally sip on the sweet nectar, she’s out!

The full list of nominees is after the jump. Judging by the Best Television Comedy nominations, the theme this year is WHA?, so why didn’t they go all the way with that theme and nominate Lindsay Lohan for Liz & Dick. She could’ve been nominated in the Comedy and Drama categories since her performance had that many layers. The bitch was ROBBED! GO! 

Best Picture, Drama:
Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Zero Dark Thirty

Best Picture, Musical or Comedy:
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Les Misérables
Moonrise Kindgom
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Silver Linings Playbook

Best Director:
Ben Affleck, Argo
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Best Actor, Musical or Comedy:
Jack Black, Bernie
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Ewan MCGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Bill Murray, Hyde Park on Hudson

Best Actress, Musical or Comedy:
Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Maggie Smith, Quartet
Meryl Streep, Hope Springs

Best Actress, Drama:
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Marian Cotillard, Rust and Bone
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea

Best Supporting Actress:
Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy

Best Supporting Actor:
Alan Arkin, Argo
Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Screenplay:
Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David O’Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Chris Terrio, Argo

Best Foreign Language Film:
Amour
A Royal Affair
The Intouchables
Kon-Tiki
Rust and Bone

Best Television Drama:
Breaking Bad
Boardwalk Empire
Downton Abbey
Homeland
The Newsroom

Best Television Comedy or Musical:
The Big Bang Theory
Episodes
Girls
Modern Family
Smash

Best Actress, Television Drama:
Connie Briton, Nashville
Glenn Close, Damages
Claire Danes, Homeland
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Juliana Margulies, The Good Wife

Best Actor, Television Drama:
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Damien Lewis, Homeland

Best Actress, Television Comedy or Musical:
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Lena Dunham, Girls
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Best Actor, Television Comedy or Musical:
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Louis C.K., Louie
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Best Supporting Actress, Television:
Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Asylum
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Best Supporting Actor, Television:
Max Greenfield, New Girl
Ed Harris, Game Change
Danny Huston, Magic City
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Best Miniseries or Television Movie:
Game Change
The Girl
Hatfields & McCoys
The Hour
Political Animals

Best Actor, Miniseries or Television Movie:
Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys

Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock

Woody Harrelson, Game Change

Toby Jones, The Girl

Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Best Actress, Miniseries or Television Movie:
Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum

Sienna Miller, The Girl

Julianne Moore, Game Change

Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals

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