Open Post: Hosted By Future Oscar Winner Matthew McConaughey

December 12, 2012 / Posted by:

The Texas T-Rex could get nominated for an Oscar for Magic Mike (I hope he does and I hope they use his “money in the ass crack” scene when they announce his name at the show), but who ever is in charge of giving out Oscars should just give him an Oscar already for The Dallas Buyers Club before he shrinks himself down to the size of a flea’s kidney stone. And how can he carry an Oscar statue if he’s the size of a flea’s kidney stone?

Matthew McConaughey’s favorite bong is still frowning today, because he’s still only eating cow queefs (for protein) and dried kumquat seeds to play AIDS activist Rod Woodruff. Matthew shot a few scenes in New Orleans this morning and DAMN you know a ho is a MAN DOWN CODE 10 kind of skinny when it looks like his moustache weighs more than his entire body. We get it, Matthew, we get it, you’re a method artiste. We all know it, so you can eat some chocolate nachos from El Pollo Loco now.

With all that being said, his Sonny Bono circa 1981 wig IS the look.

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