Crystal Harris’ last diamond engagement ring that Hugh Hefner gave her ended up on someone else’s finger after she auctioned it off for $38,000 (it cost $90,000) and now here’s the latest diamond ring that’ll end up in a pawn shop dealer’s hand in a few months when her marriage ends and she can’t make the payment on her leased Mercedes. Since Hef can barely remember what flavor of Snack Pack pudding he had for breakfast, he doesn’t remember that Crystal left him sitting on his Hoveround at the altar and then sold her engagement ring to Christie’s. He probably thinks she’s new here. So they’re getting married on New Year’s Eve and she flaunted her new gold digger prize on Twitter yesterday! ROMANCE!
The ring is as tacky as her white and pink French manicure, but at least it’s big and shiny. It gives Crystal something to ooooh and aaaaah at when Hef’s comatose caterpillar dick slips out of her and two nurses have to resuscitate it with two tiny defibrillator pads before shoving it back in her coochie.
I’ve thrown hate at Crystal before for being a failure of a gold digger, but maybe I was wrong and she’s really pulling a genius scheme. Hef is notorious for giving his whores only two confederate coins for allowance and the last time he was going to marry Crystal, he made her sign a serious prenup, so a gold digger has to get that money one way or another. So maybe Crystal won’t show up to the wedding AGAIN and in a couple of months, she’ll sashay back into the Playboy Mansion. By that time Hef would’ve forgotten about their last engagement, so he’ll propose again and give her another diamond ring. Crystal will keep doing that until she’s got half of Hef’s fortune in her gold digger wheelbarrow. Crystal should open up her own pawn shop, so she can cut out the middle man. #getthoseengagementringsbitch