Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 10, 2012 / Posted by:

The tiny monkey who brought some glamour and high fashion to the North York Ikea parking garage in Toronto yesterday afternoon.

“I didn’t know Kim Kardashian was in Toronto!” was shouted by dozens of people at Ikea yesterday afternoon when a tiny monkey wearing a shearling coat and a diaper ran through the parking garage looking for its owner. Ikea is already a damn zoo and it became a zoo of potent glamour when the Anna Wintour of monkeys (“But Michael, Anna Wintour IS the Anna Wintour of monkeys.” – you “Point taken.” – me) escaped out of its owner’s car and started causing a scene like the drama queen it is.

The Star says that the monkey’s owner is a true dumb bitch, because he left his pet monkey in a closed cage in the car while he went off to buy some Billy bookshelves. The monkey did not put on that sophisticated coat just so it could sit in the car. It needed bitches to see its glamour. So it escaped out of its cage and got out of the car. When it started screaming through the parking lot, security was called. The monkey never made it into the store. Animal Services showed up and identified the monkey as a rhesus macaque, a species that is illegal to own in Ontario. The dumb bitch owner later tried to claim the coat-wearing monkey, but instead of getting his monkey back, he got a charge for owning a prohibited animal. The monkey and its owner will never be reunited.

Okay, who takes their pet monkey to Ikea and keeps it in a crate in the car while they go and eat Swedish meatballs? Bubbles needs to slap a bitch for doing that. That poor monkey. It looks so sad. I don’t know if it’s sad because it’s at Ikea (I mean, that is the same face I make when I’m at Ikea), or it’s sad because it was put in a beige coat. Red is obviously that monkey’s color.

(For everybody who sent this in)

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