Xenu Claus Has Brought Us Another Beautiful Christmas Gift
"You might like it" isn't only the line that John Travolta says after he raises his ass up in the air and rubs his Scientolohole against a massage therapist's crotch. It's also the name of his new Christmas song with Olivia Newton-John. The cover of John and ONJ's holiday album is what you would see if you put a magnifying glass up to a unicorn's fart bubble after it ate all of the Christmas candy, and the video for their first (and last) single is just as special.
In the video that costs less than the shoe polish John Travolta smears all over his head every morning, JT and ONJ two-step, hug and drive together in Ocala, FL. Everything about this gift from Baby Xenu is beautiful from the hairy skid mark on JT's chin to ONJ's face looking like an inside/out rubber cat mask to the chain wallet to the random hugging of policemen to ONJ driving on the sidewalk and waving at nobody.
Yes, this is what has become of Danny and Sandy and I might LOVE it!
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That hair is starting to resemble the hair of that muscle boy porn star who shaves his head and then just had his skull tattooed so it is dark-----then it always looks like there is hair....
The music was awful; the 2 people were truly grotesque now ( JT & ONJ); everything about it sucked; the whole thing was fucked.
Gawd, I sound like this horrible Regional Manager when I was a store Manager at the GAP. SHe came into my store the week before Xmas. I: Good Morning, Gloria---Merry Christmas." GLoria: "Your store sucks; you fucking suck at your job; this whole place is fucked." Then she turns and leaves.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
What in the name of hot hell fast food training video shown in the break room was that mess?
Its just.. where .. do I begin?
Its insane bizzaro sad twisted and laffingly rotten to see what 30+ years of fame and fuckery have done to these 2.
let it serve as a cautionary tale ..
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
Someone commented on youtube that John Travolta looked like a "reverse Sisqo". BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!!
That was ALL types of painful to watch. I think ONJ's figure looked nice for her age, but her face is bordering on scary. I don't remember Kelly Preston being so anorexic! On the contrary, why is Ella Bleu so big?! Very pretty girl, though. Weirdness all around...
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Douchechill!
Submitted by MundoLoco on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 10:48pm.
What the fuck in holy plastic faced American bullshit was that?!
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You said that perfectly, so I'll just say 'ditto.'
What the fuck in holy plastic faced American bullshit was that?!
That was all sorts of cheesey, ONJ face scares me as much as Johns lawn like hair
End of assist.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:45pm.
That army dude and that cop are totally going to fuck on each other, and even that would be more interesting to watch than this unholy piece of shit.*
*and this is from a feminist who despises porn.
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and yet, you'd have to take a little cop on army dude fuck peek, admit it! You would. You TOTALLY would! Ok, maybe it's just me...You know I'm just funnin' wifya, Migraine...but if you would, your secret is safe with me.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Maybe because I graduated the same year Grease was released, I'm OK with this video.LOVE the way Ella is not anorexic!!
Seriously, where's the boooze?
In case you were wondering about that Billy Squier video another poster mentioned earlier, I just re-watched it for the first time since I was a kid and can verify its absolute embarrassingness. Squier said this video actually ruined his career.
http://youtu.be/WZvl2aqIyNg
Unlike Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, however, Billy Squier has gotten better with time. Watch the following video and be pleasantly surprised. I was.
http://youtu.be/9f1xJ1tQwpk
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
Super Stew, hope your migraine subsides soon and that MK and everyone's comments can cheer you up some. Feel better. (((Hugs)))
MK, LOL at Travy ass up and ready for his "treatment" haha. If anything, his hips don't lie, Xenu boy can dance. ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Super Stew on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:11pm.
Holy shit. I thought I had pain issues. Hope the surgery helps and you start feeling better soon.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
That army dude and that cop are totally going to fuck on each other, and even that would be more interesting to watch than this unholy piece of shit.*
*and this is from a feminist who despises porn.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
There's not much more I like than seeing celebrities embarrass themselves, and this was a two-for-one. Thank you.
Just when you thought he couldn't humiliate himself any longer along comes this monstrosity.
Shame on you Olivia, Now somebody hand me a bucket. All profits go to the CO$.
Submitted by Super Stew on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:11pm.
Laughter really is a great medicine.
I so hope you feel better soon.
This was so full of yasssss. Stunning really
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So, I have had a migraine for four out of the last six days- sometimes vomiting so profusely my throat felt turned inside out- during which I have had a neurostimulator implant placed on my spinal cord with a wire coming out of my back to a remote control to use and give what feels like electrical shock to my whole body in an attempt to control the pain from my spinal cord injury. Oh, and I woke up during the procedure and had to endure most of it wide awake and feeling everything even to the final stitches in my back.
Watching this video for twenty seconds made me laugh and momentarily forget how bad my situation in life is.
Thanks Danny!! Thanks Sandy!!
Holy crap that wig is scary.
All that's missing from the video is THIS ending:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yanc8kJt54w
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:53pm.
I know: lowers head in shame:)
I like Olivia.
Can I ask you a question on OP?
I really want to know something but I don't want to start anything. Let me know.
Hi pushybroad! I likes me some Stilton, but THIS just was stanky cheese.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 3:58pm.
33 seconds was all I could take. There was so much cheese, I thought I was in Wisconsin! I was hoping his plane would skid off into a barn and explode! Hep me Jebus! Hep me...!
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Wisconsin cheese is so much better than this stank garbage.
Toni-yi-yi-yight...that shit's gonna be in my head all afternoon. And Jon needs to stop with the Ken doll hair. Keeping it short isn't fooling anyone.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by saltydog on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:21pm.
Also why is it country music? Neither of them have voices for that at all. It's like they wrote this shit for somebody like Carie Unerwood and Brad Paisley and they turned them down so theytweaked the words a bit and repackaged it.
She actually started out as a country singer. She won the Best Country Female Grammy in 1973.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I89lfJsW3bE
Also why is it country music? Neither of them have voices for that at all. It's like they wrote this shit for somebody like Carie Unerwood and Brad Paisley and they turned them down so theytweaked the words a bit and repackaged it.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 3:58pm.
Hi GG:) It was cheesy:) Guess I sometimes like cheese.
I'M COMIN' HOME-AH!!! So I guess Kelly's ok with John snuggling with Olivia? At least it's another WOMAN for a change....
Awful.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I made it all the way through, but I am so embarrassed for everybody involved.
Did they think people wouldn't notice Ella Bleu as much if she was in a group?
Wow. I've finally seen something worse than Ke$ha.
That Ken doll plastic hair has gots to go.
Ella and the baby are cute though.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
HOLD ME XENU
I made it past the one minute mark! Personal best!
When they started running toward each other, it looked so real!
33 seconds was all I could take. There was so much cheese, I thought I was in Wisconsin! I was hoping his plane would skid off into a barn and explode! Hep me Jebus! Hep me...!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
All that's missing is Andy Gibb
"Rebecca of Sluttybrook Farm"
That is hysterical!
Submitted by rukiddingme on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 2:50pm.
Too bad this didn't end like Thelma & Louise with them driving off a cliff.
LMAO!
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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.
God, he is such a girl... lololollll at his prissy run at the beginning. HE IS A POLE SMOKER, NOT A PUSSY POKER!!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 2:43pm.
STOP MAKING FUN OF THIS MASTERPIECE!!!
-dies laughing-
Why must he spread even more shame on my home town?
A few seconds in and my first thought is that I believe we have a candidate for "Video that is actually MORE gay than Rock Me Tonight by Billy Squire."
This song is one of those songs that make me thankful to be hard of hearing.
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'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives. Use it. Save a life.
Very butch of Miss Travolta to have a wallet chain.
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Tonight on Disasterpiece theatre.....
Now I'm crying too hard to snark!!! John's wig and douche beard, Olivia's Toni home botox wreck.... bwaaaaahhhh.....
do you remember the very last scene of True Blood season 5? the one where sookie says, "oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"?
i wish i had a gif of that right now
It's not brush up. It's brusha. It's a play on both words ending in the letter A. Brusha, brusha, brusha. Get the new Ipana. You can Wiki it if you so desire.
Poor Topanga!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by AtomicCity on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 3:10pm.
Jerseygirl, it's brush up? I always thought it was brusha.
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Me too! But the YouTube video calls it the Brush Up Song. I guess that does make more sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFAwSqK3SdQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Submitted by SFRB on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 2:47pm.
....omg Kelly Preston is eating Le's "skittles," right?
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hahahahahahaha!
I loved the car though.
eta: all this did was remind me my military son won't be home for christmas cause he's on some hell if I know "assignment" which doesn't mean a fckin thing to his mama!!
The gobernment can take their assignments and shove 'em!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 2:32pm.
The car was supposed to lift up and take off at the end.
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lol!
Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 2:16pm.
I swear I tried to watch but couldn't get past that magic marker hair.
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LMAO!
Looks just like this...
http://www.vintagetoysillustrated.com/vintagetoy/forsale/october/2011/VI...
Jerseygirl, it's brush up? I always thought it was brusha.