Giuliana Rancic waited forever to be somebody’s mother and now that she has a baby, she’s fully embracing all the shit that comes with taking care of his ass. Literally. You know those new moms who graffiti your Facebook wall up with pictures of their baby friend waving their shit-covered hands around while laughing? No, you don’t know new moms like that? It’s probably just me then. I need a new Facebook life. Anyway, the physical inspiration for Azteca from Antz told People that she loves poop and has a library of baby scat movies in her computer.
“This is so gross, but I love when he poops. They make these noises and I’m always like, ‘Bill, here he goes. Tape this, tape this!’ And he’s like, ‘Must we tape this?’ It’s such a good feeling because it shows that he’s healthy and he’s regular and things are looking good. I love changing poopy diapers. When I open a diaper and it’s poopy, I’m like, ‘Yes, score!’”
Cut to her full-time nanny/diaper changer making a piping hot “bitch, stop” face while wiping ass mucus off her hands.
Giuliana only eats tips of ficus leaves for nourishment, so her shits are probably the size of bunny butt balls. So no wonder she’s excited about poop and obsessed with it. Being a mom is so weird. But being a blogger who writes about a mom being in love with baby shit might be weirder.
Fun fact: One of Giuliana’s nicknames for her son Edward Duke is DUKIE. She really, really does love baby caca.