Shia LaDouche Is Redefining Fug

December 4, 2012 / Posted by:

Just when I was starting to stupidly think that Shia LaBeouf’s hotness was slowly surpassing his natural doucheness, he goes and commits an act against all that is holy.

Wearing half of hell’s official uniform, Shia pumped gas in Los Angeles the other day. A CROC on its own looks like Lucifer’s anal canal and adding a sock takes it unholy levels of NO. Shia obviously subscribes to the hipster theory that the uglier it is, the more high fashion it is. This is only the beginning. Brace your eyeballs, because soon we’ll see hundreds of hipsters marching on the dirt of Coachella with tube socks and CROCs on their feet. This is worse than socks with Adidas sandals. And Shia just had to complete the trinity of evil by wearing jorts. I hate him for this.

And yes, I just blasted a dude for his sense of style while wearing a cardigan, pocket-less sweats (Note: Buying pocket-less sweats is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Where am I supposed to put my fun size Snickers wrappers when I eat Halloween candy on the sofa each night?), a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and plaid socks. But at least I’m not wearing CROCs! I mean, I want to go heaven after all.

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