“Rita Whora” trended on Twitter a couple of nights ago and it was the only time I really wished that my parents would’ve named me “Rita” so my junior high school nickname could’ve been “Rita Whora.” “Rita Whore” started trending after Rob Kardashian jumped on Twitter and melodramatically went off about how his British pop singer girlfriend Rita Ora cheated on him bareback-style with 20 dudes. Well, sometimes when the regular dick you’re hopping on doesn’t get you off, you have to search for that orgasm by hopping on a different dick, or 20. It happens.
Rob and the Rihanna-wannabe were dating for about a year or two, but now their true love is over and he let it be known on Twitter on Sunday night. In case you missed it the first time, here’s a whore member of the biggest whore family in America giving ladies a lesson in self-respect:
I’ve got a metallic taste in my mouth and I’m really close to fainting and it’s all because I overdosed on irony after reading Rob’s first tweet. A Kardashian telling people to respect themselves? I mean, Kim Kardashian doesn’t even know what the phrase “unprotected sex” really means. She probably thinks it means having sex without the cameras rolling. If you want to see the true definition of confusion, wave a condom at Kim’s face. She doesn’t know what that is!
Rob didn’t stop there either. The Daily Mail points out that after a fake Rita Ora account tweeted, “Rob’s dick was wack, I had to go somewhere,” Rob’s simple ass responded by saying he knocked her up.
I doubt Rob put a Kardashian in Rita Ora’s womb. Because as soon as a Kardashian fetus starts growing in a womb, Pimp Mama Kris and photographers from Life & Style shows up in a cloud of black smoke to take pictures of the ultrasound.
And why does Rob keep going on about this? Doesn’t he have a sock empire to run?! And more importantly, why am I writing about these nobody whores? (“Because it’s an ongoing theme on Dlisted, see Courtney Stodden.” – you “Good point.” – me) Next thing you know I’ll be writing a 4,000 word post on how a junkie hobo got into a fight with his own shoe in front of a Circle K in Kansas City, Missouri. Actually, I should’ve written that post instead of this one.
Here’s Rita Whora performing at a show in Germany last week.