Taylor Swift And Harry Styles Go For A Totally Natural And Not-At-All-Staged Stroll Through Central Park
If Taylor Swift's friends got a peen for every time they heard her say, "No, for real, it's true love fo eva this time," they'd almost have more dick than her coochie game pulls in on a regular basis.
Serial boy collector, skilled stalker and real estate mogul Taylor Swift has pretty much dropped her dream of becoming Jackie Kennedy Onassis and now she wants to be the Yoko Ono of One Direction. As the One Direction fangirls made Swifty voodoo dolls out of their American Girl Kristen Doll yesterday afternoon, Taylor and her newest 18-year-old piece Harry Styles went to the Central Park Zoo with a baby she kidnapped, because she wants to give the tabloids a file photo to use for when the pregnancy rumors come out. Today, Harry and Taylor will show up to a Starbucks and she'll wear an antique lace wedding dress to give the tabloids a file photo for when those inevitable marriage rumors come out. Taylor is looking out for you tabloid photo editors.
The humanized version of an Electric Dream Phone, Harry Styles, his hairstylist and his hairstylist's baby went to see the sea lions and I'm sure they also fed the ducks, shared a pumpkin spice latte and later curled each other's hair before having a pillow fight on her princess canopy bed. You know, some people are screaming about how Taylor keeps trolling kindergarten playgrounds for boyfriends since lately she's been dating barely legal twinks. But Taylor is a 12-year-old girl trapped in a Pollyanna mannequin, so she's actually dating dudes older than her.
And I'm so mad at that sea lion right now. A dolphin bit a little girl at SeaWorld and this sea lion couldn't keep the trend going by biting Taylor Swift's ass? You disappoint us all, sea lion.
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Awww look, they're wearing the same pants.
I am shocked! SHOCKED, I tell you! Harry has a hairstylist!? You mean that rat's nest of his is ON PURPOSE!!??
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Shiitake happens...
A match made in beard heaven, that Styles foetus is like the male version of her, known as the womanizer of the band. *scoff*
Not Again, this bitch is everywhere at the moment, she certainley gets around, seems to have a new bloke every couple of months. She may be able to write a catchy tune, but she can't sing for shit, not that it matters these days i guess.
Her poon must already be like fucking a bucket.
One of the songs on her new album had 19 different songwriters credited. It takes less people to tease Beyonce's weave. How many collective people does it take to keep this squinty ship sailing?
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That's a straight-up lie. None of the tracks on Red have more than 3 songwriters credited and 9 of the 16 tracks were written by Swifty alone. Her last album, Speak Now, was also written entirely by herself, with no co-writers.
Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 1:11pm.
Nah, they're royals. They knew what they signed up for: heirs ASAP.
And given their lives of luxury and the fact that they barely have to interact with the kids if they don't want to, I'm not gonna mourn their lack of a honeymoon phase.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
It must suck to be a celebrity. You might have to get married to someone you don't want to fuck (like John Travolta and many others), get engaged/married because of what an ex is doing (Jennifer Aniston and others), have a baby you don't want to have because you are forever in competition with an ex (like Jessica Simpson and others) or stage these bullshit photo ops with some twink and pretend to be in love (Selina Gomez/Justin Bieber and T Swift here).
I have a niece that's a fan also. Harry is known for having older beards. Taylor is just gunning for another Jake Gyllenhaal fake relationship. Knowing her, she'll get another massive hit song out of the arrangement. Hey, if it works for them and fools their public, no worries.
No, Harry is the one that had an affair with a 30 yr old woman that was a tv host. He was only 17 or so at the time?
My cousin is big fan of OneDirection, Harry is known to be gay and he is dating one of his band mates.
There are even pics of them holding hands, kissing and hugging.
Can't remember if he's the one that got his butt caressed on-stage by another band member though.
This is just sad. Watch any interview with Harry Styles and you'll immediately understand that he's borderline retarded. It takes him 10 minutes to utter five words.
He can't even go on a "date" unsupervised. Really, his hairdresser?
Maybe this has been mentioned before, but doesn't Taylor look like the Gelflings in The Dark Crystal? I think she is a dead ringer for Kira.
Dolphin/Girl--That little girl is lucky she wasn't hurt. Her college education will now be complimented by Sea World. Even though she raised that plate and was told not to--how many 8 years olds do exactly what they are told to do all the time.
IMO, Sea World needs to shut down these hands on
events. Some things humans just don't need to experience.
Even though she's a love obsessed muppet I respect her for always looking decent & not like some stripper/crackwhore that leaves a slime trail like a snail everywhere they go...most of the other celebs really.
"No intelligent life form writes in caps lock" ~GOD
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What is this boneheaded girl doing and why are her handlers enabling her to promote this image of codependency to her fanbase? Does she need to get out, get into relationships, get her heart broken so that she writes a "breakup album" that rivals Adele's record sales? Is that what it comes down to?
The lil whore on the prarie strikes again !! She's the new poster girl for the village
bicycle ( everyone's had a ride ) only on a antique retro shwinn though !
The only act to cover GMs last Xmas was Darrin Hayes of Savage Garden in the late 90s wayyy back in the day and did a fine rendition of it too if I may say so? Indeed you may. Why thank you , uggh this convo has taken over my post.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
One of the songs on her new album had 19 different songwriters credited. It takes less people to tease Beyonce's weave. How many collective people does it take to keep this squinty ship sailing?
This is why I hate zoos and Sea World. ANIMAL ABUSE! Release all the wild animals back into the wild. Sure, they'll probably get murdered by asshole humans or have their habitat polluted or chopped down by asshole humans, but at least they'll still have gotten to live in their natural habitat.
Anyway, Swifty is a pedo.
I miss living in NYC, especially this time of year. That's all I got. I'm out of fucks for this ho on everything.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
For why is that American Girl doll $360?!
"You disappoint us all, sea lion."
This paragraph might be the single, greatest thing ever written. I laughed so hard I spit coffee all over my desk. Thank you, MK.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen
I do, however, covet that fox sweater. I must have it!
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I almost bought that sweater at an Old Navy outlet store this weekend. I don't see it in their online store though.
Fuck. I'm going straight to hell. I laughed just at the screen capture of the little girl's face! I still haven't read the whole story, but I'm a huge dolphin lover. And yes, I'm dumb enough to think that just because they look as though they're smiling all the time that they must be nice. However, from what little I do know of the story, the animal was acting like an ANIMAL! It saw food dangling in front of it and it went for the food and bit her.
A few years ago, I did a dolphin swim in Mexico. They told us where exactly we could touch the dolphin, and that touching it's belly was out of the question. I'm still curious what would happen if you gave the dolphin a belly rub. Does it flip the eff out? I don't know, but I wasn't so curious that I was willing to try it.
@miz cynical, yep she did and it is SO bad. I heard a country cover of it last night on the radio. Not as bad as Taylor's but nowhere near as good as George's. Why remake it at all? George did it perfectly. By the way, that is my FAVORITE Christmas song!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Wow, she has turned into such a mattress....eewww
Does she even have time to change her knickers between guys??
I didn't read the dolphin "attack" story but once I saw the headline and photo I laughed.
TEAM DOLPHIN/Sea World. They're lucky that moron kid didn't get pulled into the dolphin tank.
They must have cleared out the zoo for Taylor and Mumbles, because on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, it's pretty crowded. That's bullshit.
Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:58pm.
Hmm, with how thin she is I didn't know if it was possible for her to still menstruate. Well, all the best to them. I do wish they had waited a while and enjoyed married life just the 2 of them because once they kid is in their life it will be there FOREVER.
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That's what I was thinking. The tabloids will hound them for more kids until they either divorce or she hits menopause.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Wait, where's the retro Schwinn bike? Don't all of her photo ops lately include one?
I'm so sick of hearing about her, she's getting almost as bad as the kuntrashians.
Submitted by Richiegay: "I immediately become suspicious of a guys alleged sexuality as soon as I see a photo with Swift."
Yeah, and this one made me double-take, because I thought Harry was The Straight One. Maybe he's just enjoying some publicity.
Submitted by bourgie on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:31pm.
why would any guy in their right mind want to be seen with her?
18 yr olds boys are really horny.
Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:53pm.
At this point everyone knows what her deal is. So, if they date her that's on them, they know the outcome. Maybe some are a bit egotistical and WOULD like a song written about them--bad or good.
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But aren't they the least bit afraid that someday she'll write a song like "You said you were into girls/but you're into boys with curls" And she'll name it "John's Song" or whoever her latest dude is.
@Shandi: WHAT? No ONE, NO ONE covers George Michael's Last Christmas, dammit! I love him. I still haven't forgiven some rock group for covering Careless Whisper.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:35pm.
I would love to have a meaningful, romantic one night stand with this tramp...
"rising 17 on the charts this week is Taylor Swift's new song 'Jack broke my fucking back!'
LOL She comes across as someone who needs teaching.
Hope you had a GREAT BD!!!!
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:53pm.
Me me me me!
The parents were so looking for a money handout after that incident. Meh, I'd be pissed too if a dolphin bit my hand, but that's life. I hate how folks think dolphins are these cuddly creatures just because they look like they're smiling all the time. Dolphins are sensitive and intelligent, but are also skilled predators and occasional assholes. Dolphin was just fucking with her, nothing personal.
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Right on the money, Zorba!
These are WILD FUCKING ANIMALS! Yeah, they are "trained", but wild never the less. Dolphins are sensitive and smart. It didn't bit off her hand, just snapped at it.
I hope the Sea Park doesn't pay the parent, but I'm sure they will. :( Leave the animals to the wild. Humans aren't mature enough to co-habitat with them.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
Silly MK!! She's not kidnapping that baby -- she's just asking the baby friend if she has a younger brother in case things with the One Director dude don't work out! :P
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Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:46pm.
Breaking:
Kate Middleton's knocked up.
Hmm, with how thin she is I didn't know if it was possible for her to still menstruate. Well, all the best to them. I do wish they had waited a while and enjoyed married life just the 2 of them because once the kid is in their life it will be there FOREVER.
I feel like all this trick does is go for walks in the park and coffee dates. What kind of Seventeen magazine photo shoot fantasy land does she live in?
I just ignore her and her music. Did you know she covered George Michael's Last Christmas and it SUCKS!!! Wish the paparazzi would ignore her.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by soulfly16 on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:32pm.
Did anyone else find the dolphin biting that stupid girl as funny as I did?
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Me me me me!
The parents were so looking for a money handout after that incident. Meh, I'd be pissed too if a dolphin bit my hand, but that's life. I hate how folks think dolphins are these cuddly creatures just because they look like they're smiling all the time. Dolphins are sensitive and intelligent, but are also skilled predators and occasional assholes. Dolphin was just fucking with her, nothing personal.
At this point everyone knows what her deal is. So, if they date her that's on them, they know the outcome. Maybe some are a bit egotistical and WOULD like a song written about them--bad or good.
She ain't even trying to be subtle anymore, is she? Her former "beaus" must be rightly pissed that their "cover" gets blown up higher with each successive dudes she "dates".
And something tells me that the One Direction guy will go through more beards in his career that an Amish barber.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:46pm.
Breaking: Kate Middleton's knocked up.
Are they sure she didn't just eat breakfast?
Breaking:
Kate Middleton's knocked up.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Are they wearing matching skinny jeans?
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
Submitted by Rocket on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:42pm.
Something about her little girl next door antics scream SLUT!
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Absolutely... I've been saying it since day one. Look at thumbs 15 and 16... THAT LOOK... I know THAT LOOK, she's gonna wear him out.
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by soulfly16 on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 12:32pm.
Did anyone else find the dolphin biting that stupid girl as funny as I did?
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*Raises hand*
And the asshole parents. Mother, "We just need to film this. It's important. We won't show anybody."
How about instead of filming your daughter's injured hand, I don't know...get some medical attention?
LOL at the last thumb!!
Taylor "I'ma break this motherfuckers DICK OFF when we get home"
whatshisghey "OOOOOOOOOMG she wants to touch my pee pee! and that make-up UHG *zsnap*"
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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers