The IRS Seized All Of Lindsay Lohan's Bank Accounts
"DENIED, BITCH!" is what the cash machine will scream at White Oprah today when she tries to use a skimmed copy of Lindsay Lohan's ATM card. Lindsay Lohan apparently owes the IRS more than $233,000 for not paying taxes in 2009 and 2010, and even though Charlie Sheen tried to save her by giving her $100,000, it wasn't enough. The IRS seized all of her bank accounts, which means that every member of the Lohan family will be at the soup kitchen asking where the open bar is.
TMZ, of course, says that the IRS tried to work with LiLo, but they're stick of waiting around for her to pay up and she hasn't even paid her 2011 taxes, so they froze her accounts to try to get paid. One source says that LiLo is freaking out about how her financial situation is rushing down a gutter river headed straight for a storm drain. LiLo is doing whatever she can to pay off her debt with the IRS.
That means we can expect the following headlines from TMZ:
1. LINDSAY LOHAN ARRESTED FOR ORGAN TRAFFICKING - TRIED TO SELL BROTHER'S KIDNEY!
2. FBI BUSTS LINDSAY LOHAN'S GERIATRIC PROSTITUTION RING - SHE TRIED TO SELL NANA LOHAN AND ALI LOHAN!
3. LINDSAY LOHAN ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY STEALING HOMELESS MAN'S $100 BOOTS!
The IRS is so shameless. They're obviously using Lindsay Lohan to get their 15 minutes of fame. They're going to hire Gloria Allred, give interviews to The Insider and start tweeting about how she called them a racial slur. They obviously set LiLo up. They're nothing but publicity whores.
It's a good thing that like every good mess, LiLo keeps all her money in the toilet tank.
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Whoever said she looks like the Crackie who swallowed the canary needs a fucking Oscar, this shit is GOLD!!! It's funny cuz it's TRUE, and it's been providing me with quality laughter. On another note, I wonder how long it will be before the Cracken makes a "suicide" attempt to make a quick buck? Anyone, Anyone?
Submitted by Mani6 on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 1:09am.
You know, I've been cooling it on the misogynist slurs, but I'm not entirely sure Lohan is an actual human being, so perhaps it won't count towards my social justice karma.
It's funny you should mention it, though, because all through that Liz and Dick movie (yes, I sat through the whole damn thing) and every time I saw her speckled mess of a back I thought:
USELESS FRECKLED CUNTFLAP.
You're welcome.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
Since Alcatraz is out of commission....there's plenty of room in Rikers. Or Somalia.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by Migraineuse on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 1:04am.
Pity they can't send her to Alcatraz like they did Al Capone.
Can I please get a freckled cunt flap?
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Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 12:23am.
And at least hundreds of Shoehan shoes. LOL!
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Pity they can't send her to Alcatraz like they did Al Capone.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
This dipshit is heading straight to MC Hammer-town with a bus driven by Burt Reynolds and a slut-walk escort by Pamela Anderson.
Lindsey is going down...because the IRS don't fuck around.
Submitted by Mani6 on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 7:53pm.
Where are all those kneepad BJ leggings she was hawking a few years back, There must be a warehouse full of them somewhere.
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Right alongside the abandoned shelves of expired Sevin Nyne tanning solution.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 7:58pm.
And they don't bow to has-been celebrities. Just ask Wesley Snipes. They dont care who the hell you are, were or think you are, they will fuck you up and ignore all protests.
And I don't think they will accept, "The black kid stole all my money!" as an explanation for unpaid taxes.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Can't resist delurking to say:
"Loose lips sink shits" I guess the IRS reads gossip blogs. *wave at IRS*
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
The IRS doesn't play games, so methinks if she's going to finally get nailed for her shady ways, it'll be tax related. Obviously the LA judicial system has failed spectacularly and She's bound to weasel her way out of NYC trouble (but I have a glimmer of hope that my NYC peeps will come thru)
I don't think she owns a house. She was renting that place in Venice next to SamRo a couple years ago, but it sounds to me like she has been living in a hotel forever.
I'm calling it, she's gonna be dead by the end of the year.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 8:33pm.
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Lol, I'm with GG, I wouldn't touch anything that came from her, especially cash because I know where she stored it.
*faints*
Someone's going to bail her out ~ wait and see. She's like the cockroach, indestructible!
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 5:55pm.
Don't give up hope yet, Ms. Fards. You know she's got more buried skeletons than John Wayne Gacy.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 8:07pm.
I believe the ho has cash, but they'll need to do a cavity search.
hahahaha! The IRS will take your house, put you on the street, clean out your accounts, and seize your car, RV, and motorboat. But there are some things even the IRS won't do.
TMZ will probably bail this bitch out, after all they are her major employer. Imagine how much money they would have made off her this last week with all her fuckery.
Does she even have a house anymore or does she just live in hotels?
She is a lost cause, nothing can help this bitch, she's cooked.
I got nothing other than.....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bitch better pay up! The IRS doesn't play around.
Submitted by jussayin on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 7:11pm.
she had bank accounts?!?
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That's what I'm sayin', jussayin. I believe the ho has cash, but they'll need to do a cavity search. That's just how the dirty hooka rolls.
As a few others have said, this is a last resort for the IRS, no wonder she's walking around with 10K in cash all the time...hmmm....ALL THE TIME.
*whistles nonchalantly in Chateau Mormont lobby*
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There's no way she gave them that 100K Charlie Sheen loaned her. The IRS would have put her on a payment plan after they got a check like that. She better get that money because the IRS is not L.A County. They do not fuck around even a little bit.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Where are all those kneepad BJ leggings she was hawking a few years back, There must be a warehouse full of them somewhere.
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Manimal!!!!! That cracked me up!!!!!
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And I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am?
Will this force her parents to step up? HAHAHA Of course not. #letthedumbbitchhook
And ooops, guess she shouldn't have fired her assistant if he knows all her cash hiding spots, lol #takethatshit ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Oh girl, you done did it now. The IRS do not play.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
she had bank accounts?!?
*********★******★*********
"Oh, let me see if there's any fucks stuck under
my nails. Nope. Fresh out of fucks."
Would YOU put on something that was on Blohans body or her feets?!? *gags & starts scratching all over*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Another SET UP!!
GO TO FUCKING JAIL! I heard that gypsies make good money, usually cash, maybe she could join them.
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Well, Lindsay was a hoarder iirc. She was on that show and showed off her huNdreds of pairs of designer shoes and outfits and lots of other crap. Just sell all that shit and a big part of the taxes can be paid.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 6:09pm.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! YOUTUBE PAYS PER VIEW?!?!?
*uploads 1000 videos of my puppy and cat*
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lol Yes but you have to have a minimum number of views before they'll offer to pay you. Like 20,000 views or something.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! YOUTUBE PAYS PER VIEW?!?!?
*uploads 1000 videos of my puppy and cat*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
This is Lohan we're talking about. She'll find the money somehow (maybe she'll blow Donald Trump and ask him for Christian charity), and go back to boozing and "accidentally" getting into fights or wrecking her Porche.
After the longest run-up to a tipping point, in celebrity history, this one is finally going down the karmic bunny hole. All thanks to too much personality disorder and no common sense - what a lineage!
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 4:42pm.
This isn't tax evasion in the IRS sense (tho she has evaded her taxes). She must have filed returns but just didn't make estimated tax payments or come up with the lump payment at year-end.
It's just a civil (non-criminal) matter where they chase you till you pay up. She could file for bankruptcy protection (snicker) if the tax debt is > 3 years old, as the 2009 debt is.
It could be criminal--as it was with Snipes and Capone--if the IRS roots around and finds undeclared income--say, from late-night professional appearances.
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Damn you for busting my bubble, Rande!I was hoping she'd go to the pokey alongside Mr. Snipes.
So close and yet so far.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Wasn't it the IRS that finally took Al Capone down?
Sheesh...they are the ones that come calling if other methods do not take down certain high profile people. They just do not care - they give no real free passes to anyone.
Besides, this crazy broad eluded the tax people for years. That was a mistake. Another mistake? Not understanding your finances. Who knows what her financial people are doing to her (if she even has them anymore). How much money does this girl actually have??
Robert Downey Jr. is a talented actor and has proved that over and over again. Lindsay Lohan has never proved that....she might have potential but so do most people as far as acting goes if they have the right training. She's still as the "mean girls star" by the media...which is just so pathetic for about 10 different reasons.
Submitted by azgirl on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 4:58pm.
Must politely disagree. Sending out a bunch of registered mail for months or years, then filing general tax liens in the recorder's office, seems lazy to me--at least compared to what creditors do in private collection cases. I agree that the IRS tries to work it out and will accept a nice down payment and payments over time if the debtor bellies up to the bar at the start and offers to work with them. Ultimately, the IRS just wants to get paid, from whatever source.
Btw Wesley Snipes is STILL doing,time with his IRS evasion thing.
lohan has been quiet last few days.
i betcha shes in a hotel room making a sex tape w/ some asian billionaire.
girl needs $$ for next week bail hearing. and IRS.
ha ha.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHATHISBITCHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
"This world is a whore."
You DO NOT WANT TO PISS OFF THE AGENCY THAT SHUT DOWN THE VEGAS MOBSTERS...believe me I fear the IRS more than the mob, the Crips, the CIA, FBI and all the po-po's in the world....this idiot defies stoopid!
When I worked at a bank I was in the default loan department and worked with the IRS many times. They are not lazy and they don't just freeze accounts whenever they want. That is a last resort for them to get the person to take them seriously. Before this happened they have probably tried to work with Lindsay for months and they are sick of her shit.
They work out payment plans with everyone too. They would rather get monthly payments then have the person go to jail and get nothing.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 4:42pm.
...undeclared income--say, from late-night professional appearances.
^^^^
They tax fees for hooking?!?!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
what Dog said -- they have to jump thru everything to do this. [#beenthere. ##wasreallyreallyhopingforthatpromisedy2kcomputermeltdown]
also, bwahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. somebody gonna get their ass kicked at a club again this week!!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
imma laughing at this! this stoopid brat has gotten away w/ too much shit.
about damn time she faces adult responsibility.
Xmas / Hanukkah wishes coming true.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
This isn't tax evasion in the IRS sense (tho she has evaded her taxes). She must have filed returns but just didn't make estimated tax payments or come up with the lump payment at year-end.
It's just a civil (non-criminal) matter where they chase you till you pay up. She could file for bankruptcy protection (snicker) if the tax debt is > 3 years old, as the 2009 debt is.
It could be criminal--as it was with Snipes and Capone--if the IRS roots around and finds undeclared income--say, from late-night professional appearances.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 1:59pm.
Unlike the court system, the IRS DON'T PLAY.
It's kind of like Al Capone - he weaseled out of everything, but they finally found a way to get him in jail.
AND
Where did the Charlie Sheen money go?
If Charlie did really give her money, it didn't go to the IRS.
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You are EN FUEGO, my friend... All great points.
I'm sure whatever IRS agent was working on the seize was all giggles when she publicly went on record for giving her sister 10K one evening for a school payment and she was just carrying it around in a club.
They're going to want to know where it came from, where it is, and did it really go to a school payment and where's the paper trail for that.
Good luck, Dipshit. As a business owner, my 1 biggest fear is the IRS.
Original Putas, for the IRS to get to this point, they have exhausted all other avenues. She would have received several letters and warnings. You ignore them and they will land on with both feet, but they will make every effort to work with you. Wesley Snipes is a case in point. He refused to acknowledge his back taxes and when he was forced to, he denied he owed. Then, after a court had ruled against him, he cried and called foul. He went to jail.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org