Lindsay Lohan Is Drinking All The Vodka
Lindsay Lohan's assistant Gavin Doyle dramatically quit yesterday morning after she kicked him out of her SUV and he immediately jumped on Twitter to tell her to get help. Everyone assumed by "help" he meant "REHAB!" But one of LiLo's lawyers Mark Heller says that alcohol never touched her lips the morning she punched one of Dionne Warwick's psychic friends. Well, TMZ is basically calling Mark Heller a liar, because they say LiLo was drunk on booze when she fisted that psychic in the face, because she's always drunk on booze.
Several sources tell TMZ that for the past few months, LiLo wakes up in the morning, pours vodka in her coffee cup, brushes her teeth with vodka, gargles with vodka, cleans her pits out with vodka, fills her neti pot with vodka and buttchugs vodka. LiLo starts drinking vodka in the morning and keeps drinking vodka throughout the day. LiLo guzzles down as much as 2 liters of vodka a day. Either I prolapsed again or my liver just slipped out of my ass after I typed "guzzles down as much as 2 liters of vodka a day."
LiLo's friends (and even Michael Lohan) have all thrown up their arms and given up on trying to help her, because she won't listen to them and becomes a real mean bitch when she's drunk. LiLo's daily drinking grew to SANTO DIOS proportions when her money and legal troubles got worse.
If LiLo keeps sucking down 2 liters of vodka a day, it won't be long before most of her internal organs raise a white flag and/or the entire vodka industry tells us that there's a vodka shortage. Should I make A Vodka Message To Lindsay Lohan video or do you want to do it?
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She's a fucking joke!
Freak Speely: interesting reasoning and I can totally see that happening... Death will not free us of her and her ongoing dramatics, thieving and whoredom.
Lohan won't die anytime soon. She's going to live to a ripe, old, and hopefully child-free age where she can look back on all this and be humiliated. She doesn't deserve the relief from trashiness that death brings.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
Lindsay was set up!
Witnesses who saw her break down in a NY hotel after the incident said, 'She was crying and kept asking, ''Why does this happen to me? This is a setup! I don’t deserve this... It’s not my fault!''
'Lindsay was saying, ''I was trying to find out who stole Ali’s purse! I gave her the money for my family, to pay for my brother’s school fees,' the source told the paper. The purse had $10,000 in it, the New York Post reports.
'Lindsay says she never hit the girl,' the source added. 'She just went over to find if they had her sister’s purse. They were looking around the area, but the girl was sitting at the table, and some pushing started.'
(Mail/Post)
How much is a liter...the skinny shit or the big shit or the shit that looks like flasks? I'm only worried if it's the big shit.
I think quitting after you are thrown out of the car is kind of redundant. I understand that Gavin is trying to hold on to some dignity but that ship sailed a long time ago. When Lindsay's mom blamed him for Lindsay being a bloated whore he should have thrown a 5-gallon container of that ice cream she likes to steal at her and told her to fuck off.
http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/
What is Dinah going to say about her child this time? And Michael for sure will say that he told her to stop.
I want Hohan to say again that she's a survivor. After she gets out of jail in a few years, that is.
She wouldn't have punched miss "psychic friends network" if it wasn't true. If it was, ho would've ignored her & walked directly into the men's bathroom to do lines & shots off of peens still dripping from just pissing in the urinal (or on her -- you know she gets $ to do that & the vodka she's drinking probably tastes like piss anyway so... no big deal). This delusional bitch knows that Liz & Dick sucked, but never thought a "fan" would call her out as a piece of shit actress & a racist. I bet everyone was laughing too. The "black guy" was laughing the most. The truth hurts, so she felt entitled to hurt someone else.
She will never get better. Like other posters have said, she will either kill someone or herself. I hope those someone(s) are White Oprah & Turtle Dick, then gets life & turned out by the biggest dyke with the smelliest snatch (well she did have practice with SamRo...) Three birds with one stone.
I can't get enough of this walking disaster.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcBBzPemvn0
Mother what is going on?
Famous or not, if you don't want to stop or don't see the problem, you're not going to stop. I feel terrible for Lindsay because she is the poster girl for out-of-control self-destruction.
I could imagine MK writing his version of Crackie's obituary.
My liver just flip-flopped thinking about drinking 2 liters of vodka day. If I exceed 3 drinks of ANYTHING in one night, I am unable to get out of bed the next day.
I used to work with a woman who was a serious alcoholic, and vodka was her drink of choice. We were waitresses at a very high-volume, fancy restaurant in San Francisco where her boyfriend was the bartender, and every time she'd go to the bar to get a drink for a table, she'd do a shot. We're talking all night long...waiting tables! Having to be coherent and remembering orders, etc.
It was astounding. You NEVER would have guessed — except maybe by the end of her shift at 11-ish, with just a tiny bit of slurring — that she'd been pounding vodka shots all night. Perhaps 8 - 10.
So I believe LiLo could be that much of a drunk. Esp. with coke, which my poor friend also did copiously when she wasn't doing meth. And chain-smoking. What the human body can endure!
Man. Makes me want to eat grilled salmon chased with raspberries and lemon-water.
Some people can metabolize alcohol better than most but it is to their disadvantage in the end if they abuse it because they are the most likely to also become alcoholics due to their special skills.
Bitch has pickled herself like a onion, constantly tanked. Well that explains the puffiness.
I posted this song once before but for Lohan it just seems to fit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoCqCrH8aBM
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She's a POS, always has been a POS and will continue to be a POS. Along with many of you I would never wish death on anyone but I've givin' up hope for this witch a long time ago.
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Co-signed. I quit this dumb bitch too.
So that's why the price of vodka is going up? Dang.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 8:22pm.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 7:05pm.
Well, as long as we're all not wanting her to die, I'll say that I don't want her to die either. I just want her and her entire family to be permanently relocated to North Sentinel Island.
Don't worry, she'll be fine. They like red
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Damn! You just made me giggle. :D
OK no death but can I least get a freckled cunt flap PLEASE!
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 7:05pm.
Well, as long as we're all not wanting her to die, I'll say that I don't want her to die either. I just want her and her entire family to be permanently relocated to North Sentinel Island.
Don't worry, she'll be fine. They like red
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Damn! You just made me giggle. :D
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Submitted by KA on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 7:18pm
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ITA. You're right. She has a whole host of problems.
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She's a POS, always has been a POS and will continue to be a POS. Along with many of you I would never wish death on anyone but I've givin' up hope for this witch a long time ago.
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I can't like her, so I can't care about what happens to her. I find her so incredibly unlikable that I'm more concerned about the fate of the squirrels in my mother's attic than I am this about this cracked out roachrodent.
The tragedy of Lohan, whether she lives or dies, is she has NO appreciation of what she has/had. She has no humility or grace. She took and never gave. She lied. I can't with her. I don't want her to die but I can't care if she does. I can't.
About those squirrels though....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
2 liters of vodka! How uncouth. *cough*drinks 2 bottles of wine*cough*
That's ONLY a liter and a half, motherfucker.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Not wishing her dead, but I DO wish she'd go to jail for a few years.
Also, her cheek implants are ridiculous.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 6:44pm.
Not in any way am I defending this freckled monstrosity *adopting defensive kung foo pose*..but if she was drinking huge amounts from early morning until she lays her head down to sleep on the footpath at 4 am, wouldn't she be photographed falling down drunk by mid-afternoon? I have no doubt she's pissed as a fart by 10 pm but...
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functioning alcoholics can do all sorts of normal shit with their lives and still drink heavy amounts of alcohol. i just don't know if alcohol is her main problem. i think its thrown in the bag with mental illness and drug abuse. she's a fucking wreck. she needs a rehab center that is also going to deal with serious mental and emotional health issues in a medical sense, not just in a "share with the group" sense. not all of them do.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Well, as long as we're all not wanting her to die, I'll say that I don't want her to die either. I just want her and her entire family to be permanently relocated to North Sentinel Island.
Don't worry, she'll be fine. They like red.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
Not in any way am I defending this freckled monstrosity *adopting defensive kung foo pose*..but if she was drinking huge amounts from early morning until she lays her head down to sleep on the footpath at 4 am, wouldn't she be photographed falling down drunk by mid-afternoon? I have no doubt she's pissed as a fart by 10 pm but...
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Submitted by skinny fat on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 5:10pm.
Yup. I think he still sometimes does gigs with Stills and Nash; Young has kinda written them off.
Just reading this story is forcing me to get a prescription for oxazepam.
This young women is really totally fucked up.
She probably is not a pleasant person.
She probably is a bitch
She probably has a drinking and/or drug problem
She had a terrible childhood via lousy parents.
and stil... I hope she comes through it
because... I just cannot imagine what it would feel like to have absolutely no one in your corner. not in the past and not now. ever.
The need to drink in the morning indicates a pretty far gone state of alcoholism. Many have been able to lose their addiction and achieve sobrity who have gone this far, but I see no evidence that lilo is motivated.
While one never knows about these things, I will say that lilo has never seen any significant consequences. Judges do not jail her, people still pay her large sums of money, and she still gets movie parts. From her perspective, addiction has only been an embarrassement and a hassle thus far.
We all watched winehouse kill herself in an extended media downward spiral, so we can do it again. I will say winehouse had a once in a generation voice, but achieved little before her death. Lilo I don't see as very talented and is more of a freak show.
Why the hell is she still around,wasting oxygen when people like Patrick Swayze and Heath Ledger,who were actually talented are gone. She's a useless POS.
Lohan stories have entered the not-funny-anymore zone, but I suppose nobody can be an entertaining wreck forever. Either you die, or the spectacle becomes an unwatchable, embarrassing bore.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 4:27pm.
I didn't realize Pinnacle Vodka is only 35-50% alcohol by volume. Huh.
Edited because I'm an idiot. Smirnoff is also 35-50% ABV.
Did learn though that Pinnacle has a Pumpkin Pie flavored vodka. (sounds good, but most likely waaaaaaay too sweet)
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It's 70 proof, most Vodka's are 80 proof. I haven't tried the pumpkin but none of the one's I tried are too sweet at all, they're really good! My favorite is the coconut flavor mixed with diet coke. It's so smooth and mellow but before you know it....WEEEEEEEE!!!
thanks for the info que cochina....that would be indeed ridiculous if Linds got bumped to the number one spot ahead of some poor child with liver disease.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
"Prolapsed again" MK don't even joke. Do you have one of those virginial meshes from the TV?!
Someone said this the other day (and this is what I've been saying to Mr. JTROS all along): Lilo is covered in teflon. She won't go to jail or pay for her crimes.
And, she's like a cockroach - she will outlive all of us.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 5:05pm.
Submitted by que cochina on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 5:01pm.
Yeah, Crosby (an asshole) got two livers--the second one after everyone who still loved him threw a few benefits to pay for the first one. If you're an addict, I guess you think, "Hey! Brand-new liver!"
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Really? Wow, that's just wrong. He was a boozing drugged up asshole for years. Is he dead yet?
Blohan isn't going to die or go to jail or have anything bad happen to her except a little stress until the judge slaps her on the wrist and sends her off to rehab and the cycle will go on and on until she kills someone or dies.
Submitted by que cochina on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 5:01pm.
Yeah, Crosby (an asshole) got two livers--the second one after everyone who still loved him threw a few benefits to pay for the first one. If you're an addict, I guess you think, "Hey! Brand-new liver!"
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 4:45pm.
Instead of adderall and all the other bullshit prescription pills she gets why not ask for Antabuse.
^^^^
Unfortunately, Antabuse only works if the person wants to stop drinking. If you don't take it, once it clears your system you can start drinking again. And Antabuse does nothing to help the emotional issues that drive a person to drink to excess.
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www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 4:45pm.
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Serious question here....do they seriously bump you to the front of the transplant list if you willingly and recklessly destroyed your liver and other internal organs with drinking and drugging 24/7?
Before an organ recipient procures an organ - and the sad truth of the matter is, often these folks die before they get their needed organ - they are put on a recipient list. This list is prioritized by who meets the criteria (i.e. age, organ failure occurred due to a disease process and not abuse, lives a healthy lifestyle, et cetera) and a psychiatric evaluation. Children often get priority, justifiably, because they have their whole lives ahead of them. However, there have been some collosal "huhs?" Think David Crosby and Mickey Mantle. But I made that comment cause it just seems Blowhan always manages to scurry away from responsibility and accountability.
Instead of adderall and all the other bullshit prescription pills she gets why not ask for Antabuse.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 4:08pm.
Submitted by que cochina on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 4:05pm.
The same way she manages to evade jail time will probably apply when she develops hepatic cirrhosis and will go to the front of the organ recipient list. I think I'm gonna change the organ donation on my driver's license to read "my organs may be donated to anyone but Lindsay Lohan."
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*follows suit*
Can we add every member of the Kardashian Family to the 'No liver for YOU" list? Although Kim probably will need someone`s eyeballs, if she continues to let people piss in hers...
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Serious question here....do they seriously bump you to the front of the transplant list if you willingly and recklessly destroyed your liver and other internal organs with drinking and drugging 24/7?
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Well. Hmm. Idiot, blockhead, bonehead, cretin, dimwit, dork, dumbbell, dunce, fool, ignoramus, imbecile, jerk, kook, moron, muttonhead, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, out to lunch, pinhead, simpleton, stupid, tomfool, twit.
I could go on, but she's just not worth it anymore.
Oh, wait - delusional twat.
Oh, and try not to make it to the 27 Club, like others have said, you don't belong in it.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 4:08pm.
*follows suit*
Can we add every member of the Kardashian Family to the 'No liver for YOU" list? Although Kim probably will need someone`s eyeballs, if she continues to let people piss in hers...
Yikes, UBF - you just opened my eyeballs to many frightening prospects and - it could happen - these idiots all live in Californy and fresh organs have a very short shelf life!
I think she should do a reality show for many reasons.
1) It would be a fascinating rain wreck to watch
2) She MIGHT actually get some amount of self awareness out of it
3) She would get the attention of being followed by cameras she craves
4) it could protect her from herself and protect the public because a producer and camera man would be on-hand to stop her from driving drunk or attacking people
Crack-a-lacky can't die, I fuck-up vicariously through her.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 4:06pm.
She'd better not die at 27. 26, or after 28. She does not deserve to be in that club.
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EXACTLY!