Lindsay Lohan Punched A Woman Over This
TMZ, Radar and UsWeekly all have different stories for why Lindsay Lohan punched Tiffany Eve Mitchell (Side note: I just knew her name was going to be Tiffany or Crystal.) at Avenue in NYC early this morning.
UsWeekly says that LiLo bopped a bitch in the face, because she wanted to sit in the VIP section and Tiffany's purse and coat were in the way. They got into a fight after Tiffany refused to move her stuff. The old LiLo would've stolen that purse and coat and traded them in for a baggie of the bad shit, but since she's trying to be a different kind of mess, she punched Tiffany in the face instead.
Radar says that LiLo not only had the sweet nectar running through her veins, but she was also filling her nostrils with coke. We all know that LiLo turns on the "cunt" when she's high on coke, so she snapped when Tiffany asked to take a picture with her. LiLo refused to pose with Tiffany, so Tiffany shrugged and kept dancing with her friends. LiLo wouldn't let it go and later on, she shoved Tiffany before throwing a fist. LiLo kicked, screamed and spit at Tiffany until the fight was broken up.
And TMZ has the best and most pathetic reason for why LiLo kissed probation goodbye by attacking someone. Their source says that LiLo has had her brown eye, crack eye and all her eyes on Max from The Wanted for a while now. (The Wanted is that British boy band who isn't One Direction.) The Wanted opened for Justin Bieber at Madison Square Garden last night and so LiLo went there to try to get a piece of Max. After she was denied from going backstage, she met up with Max and the other dudes from The Wanted at a bar. They partied at the bar and then all went to Avenue. As the morning went on, LiLo's drunk ass got sloppier and sloppier, and Max wasn't exactly looking for a ho to barf on his dick during sex times. So Max started hitting on Tiffany, which made LiLo ragey and we all know what happened next. Max ended up leaving the club with a piece who wasn't LiLo or Tiffany.
This is how dumb LiLo is. Scrappin' over some dick that she's never even had. How are you going to fight for some dick if you don't even know whether or not the dick is good? The dick might not even be worth getting into a Rock-Paper-Scissors fight over, let alone a fist fight. Any self-respecting slut would've asked to taste test the dick before slapping a trick over it. Getting done in by dick is tragic on its own, but getting done in by dick that you haven't even done is extra tragic. And yes, you high school theater students can use that last tongue twisting sentence for your vocal warm-ups.
Also, the Santa Monica City attorney just hit LiLo with 3 charges for lying to the cops after crashing her Porsche into an 18-wheeler. Add that to her assault charge from this morning and that's 4 criminal charges on the same day. White Oprah, please take a bow, because you have raised a true winner!
Here's Tiffany Eve Mitchell looks Jerseylicious chic while leaving the police station this morning.
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MJT- I may have to change your nickname, Booster Seat!
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
That skin color clash is terrifying. Is there someone else in that coat with her reaching out for help (and appears to be married)?
Down in front.
Submitted by Trixster on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 6:04pm.
These people remind me of Glendale, California.
yessssssssssssssssss! I was trying to think where and that is perfect.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:57pm.
I agree that Max here looksvery Van der Sloot-y.
^^^^
My new mission in life is to use "Van der Sloot-y" in a sentence each and every day. It sounds like a Polynesian dish. Van der Slooty Over Pineapple Rice Balls.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
My first thought was maybe she was so trashed she thought it was Paris Hilton. If I was trashed I might punch Paris Hilton. I hope they finally put this chick in prison so we can have a break from her drama. She's totally disturbing my peace. LOL
"The dick might not even be worth getting into a Rock-Paper-Scissors fight over, let alone a fist fight. Any self-respecting slut would've asked to taste test the dick before slapping a trick over it."
THE WISDOM OF MK *bows down*
And how drunk was dude to hit on either one?? That's not beer goggles, it's more like Bacardi 151 goggles, Jesus.
Reading over these comments makes me hope I never become a D-lister who gets myself into hot water, because Dlisters really know how to rip losers a new one! A bunch of wild jackals, we are. There's only bone and sinew left of these hot messes...
The (balding) One Direction douche looks like Joran van der Sloot.
Ivana Humpalot/Orangiska looks like she's waiting to be ordered from a catalog by a fat, American mid-level bank manager.
And Lindsay _____(fill in the blank.)
Thank god I'm a nobody!! Bwahahahaha!
These people remind me of Glendale, California.
He looks like Joran van der Sloot.
Ya gotta give it to Lindsay, bitch got some street sense. She wouldn't do this to a woman who looks like she blue collar, trick would get her ass whooped. She knows when to pick her spots don't she?
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Tits beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:57pm.
I agree that Max here looks very Van der Sloot-y. How is that hot?
I was going to say it's hot because you know what happens to women when van der Sloot takes a shine to them. But while Lohan deserves to disappear, she doesn't deserve to die.
He's got a touch of the Casper in him too.
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
Lisbet -- I'm well into my 40's and I just tried wrinkling up my forehead. I was unable to crunch my forehead to look like this broad's. I think she's a whole lot older than 28. 28 in dog years maybe.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
I agree that Max here looksvery Van der Sloot-y. How is that hot?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Gawd, what is with that orange face and neck on that Tiffany chick? Her hands are pale white. She looks terrible for her close-up.
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
damn, that is one trashy looking hobag.
betcha shes gonna sell her story to e!
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
when your orange face and neck are covered in glitter and you cant afford regular nail appointments, we all know your true status ho.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by WendyNerd on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:20pm.
I feel like at this point we should make her the new Chuck Norris. Like, we should make up a bunch of joke "facts" about her. But instead of them being about how awesome/strong/magical/manly she is (well, okay, we can do the manly) we should do ones about what a dumbass/crackie she is.
Every blizzard over the last ten years was actually a result of Lindsay Lohan blowing her nose.
Lindsay Lohan did not steal that diamond necklace on purpose, she mistook it for her crystal meth candy necklace
As a baby, Lindsay Lohan forced her mother to dry out and powder her breast milk so she could snort it.
Lindsay Lohan's lips are in fact rubber meth receptacles.
Lindsay Lohan punched a girl for being hit on by Max from The Wanted because she thought he was an Oscar.
Those are pretty weak. Anyone have any ideas?
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Thats Brilliant!!! Wheres loopy gorilla when you need him!!??
If Avenue admits such trash as Lohan and Ivana Humpalot, I don't want to visit. The over-bleached mop with 3-inch black regrowth, the fake tan, the faux fur... Yikes.
Tiffany took a few things from her momma's closet to wear to the club and look classy...
Revoke her license and give her a 10pm curfew for the remainder of her probation so we never have to hear about her again...
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:44pm.
She's 28?
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In dog years. Pay attention, Valtrex.
She's 28? How old did she look before Lindsay smacked her around? I heard that the camera adds 10 pounds, but how many years did it tack on? She looks like she should be auditioning for Real Housewives Of Prague.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Damn, LiLo, look up Levi Johnston next time, whydontcha?
Done praying for incarceration, tired of getting my hopes up for the inevitable disappointment.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by azgirl on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:38pm.
I just can't with white hands and orange faces. Seriously, how did that become a thing?
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The girls in my school used to have terrible problems with it. I've never touched fake tan, but I gather that they'd wear latex gloves when they were applying it to stop their hands from looking icky and streaky. Some of them waited a few days before they did their hands, or even didn't bother. I think they assumed the boys didn't notice, which...yeah...
But you'd think that a woman would figure this stuff out by the time she's managed to gain those kinds of forehead wrinkles.
"Move that coat and bag"
Maybe Ivana Humpalot thought there WAS no coat and Linds was in fact referring to her.
If she had of said "Move, что пальто и сумка"
there wouldn't have been a problem.
Lilo or that hag? Seems to be a no-win situation.
The quality of groupie puss ain't what it used to be.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:13pm.
Orangiska from the Ukraine...LMFAO
Vat is dis whores who done face me in the punch!?
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LMAO, Whamo! I hate being faced int he punch!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I used to imagine everyone in these fancy private clubs would be all beautiful. You know wearing beautiful Chanel party wear with impeccable hair and make up. It makes me happy to see that they are just as busted as the local yokels at "The Playas Club". You know the kind of club that's in a motel and people are always getting shot at...
Also, what the fuck kind of animal is her jacket made out of. It looks like it had mange before it was a coat! Rashy!
I just can't with white hands and orange faces. Seriously, how did that become a thing?
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:20pm.
I could understand fighting over one of the One Direction dudes, but this guy?
I had a hard time keeping a straight face while typing that....
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SHE VOLUNTARILY WENT TO A JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT! HOW PATHETIC IS THAT! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@MissAnnThorp. ..you are in fact correct About three years ago she "opened up her home" aka got paid for an interview with Entertainment Tonight and she admitted to being a slight hoarder. There were literally clothes, shoes and bins of crap everywhere. She kept saying how she doesnt like being alone or getting rid of things.They brought in some professional organizer to help her. It was weird and sad.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
I thought the fake platinum blonde, over-glossed lips, orange over-tanned thing was finally out. I mean, that was the thing that was popular when I was in high school. Can't we move on? I always thought it made women look older. It definitely does on this chick.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:28pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:24pm.
Use to drive me CRAZY. My name isn't Ivana but close...:)
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lol, I'm trying to think what your name might be:)
Submitted by WendyNerd on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:20pm.
Funny, but that would only stroke her ego even further.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Submitted by Stan Hooper :
I must have missed the memo that Lohan was no longer a gayelle!
When did she switch sides again?
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When she began hookin' for coke and access to fashion shows & clubs.
Someone below mentioned this sloth looks like Van der Sloot (sp?) and I realized THAT's why my first reaction to him was "Ewwww."
Submitted by CodeRed on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:20pm.
there, see, I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation.
MOVE that coat and bag, I'm Lindsay Lohan!!
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Beat me to it.
Just saw the pics, OMG what complete and utter Eurotrash those people are.
Submitted by Get Serious on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:13pm.
Btw, is it just me, or does this Tiffany chick look kinda-semi-psuedo-quasi like wonky mcvaltrex?
Yes! with Tan Mom mashed in.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:26pm.
Joan Crawford was like this too. Couldn't stand to be alone, she would beg and also pay her maids to stay the night in the house and then tried to crawl into bed with them. Many of them quit because she was drunk and it would get physical.
Lisbet: Right? She kind of resembles this mom I know from the playground. She's Croatian and she wears very little makeup, and dresses in a very plain and simple but elegant way. Married a doctor.
I want to scrub this bitch off and dress her in some J McLaughlin. And give her a nicer name. "Eve Mitchell" is actually a good one.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 4:53pm.
Everyone in this story is busted as hell.
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THIS. Case closed. Every news agency can take down their stories on this topic and just replace it with this line.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:24pm.
OMG!! LOL. When that movie came out people called me that ALL The time!!!!!!!!!!!! Use to drive me CRAZY. My name isn't Ivana but close...:)
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
I'm thinking Linds isnt picky regarding the sex of her partner. She is just desperate for "love" and can't stand to be alone. I bet she can't sleep alone in her house and has to have the TV on all the time. Like she can't stand silence. God forbid she should be alone with her own thoughts. She needs to stay home and get high and drunk at her own house.
Submitted by Spoiled on Thu, 11/29/2012 - 5:17pm.
The internet investigators are working hard on it, but right now they're saying she's not the "psychic" Tiffany Mitchell:
Whew! So we're back to the "Russian escort" Tiffany Eve Mitchell? She'll still make a more credible witness than Lohan--and that says something.
Ivana Humpalot
I could understand fighting over one of the One Direction dudes, but this guy?
I had a hard time keeping a straight face while typing that....
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"Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I've never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law."
-Lindsay Lohan 11/2012
I don't like Lilo but in her defense I think most people would want to punch that face, if for nothing else than to knock off some make up.
there, see, I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation.
MOVE that coat and bag, I'm Lindsay Lohan!!
I feel like at this point we should make her the new Chuck Norris. Like, we should make up a bunch of joke "facts" about her. But instead of them being about how awesome/strong/magical/manly she is (well, okay, we can do the manly) we should do ones about what a dumbass/crackie she is.
Every blizzard over the last ten years was actually a result of Lindsay Lohan blowing her nose.
Lindsay Lohan did not steal that diamond necklace on purpose, she mistook it for her crystal meth candy necklace
As a baby, Lindsay Lohan forced her mother to dry out and powder her breast milk so she could snort it.
Lindsay Lohan's lips are in fact rubber meth receptacles.
Lindsay Lohan punched a girl for being hit on by Max from The Wanted because she thought he was an Oscar.
Those are pretty weak. Anyone have any ideas?
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
So it was this chick, not the original one posted. That woman looked like she could be this one's mother, however she did look younger than Shithan.