Demi Moore's Got A New 20-Something Piece
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher still haven't filed for divorce from each other and a couple of tabloids say that she wants him back, and sometimes cuddles with a bottle of douche to remember what it's like to spoon with him. But Page Six says that if Demi is crying out tears for Ashton, then she's using those tears to lube herself up for fuck times with her new dude Vito Schnabel. Demi is 50 (cut to Demi kicking, stretching and kicking) and Vito Schnabel is 26 (in Lohan years, obviously).
Vito is the art dealer son of painter and filmmaker Julian Schnabel, so he's around famous types a lot. Vito is also used to being the cub, because he dated Elle Macpherson when he was 21 and she was 44. A source says that Vito and Demi have been hanging out for a few weeks. Earlier this month, guests at a birthday party in India for Naomi Campbell's hot billionaire boyfriend all watched as Demi and Vito got down on the dance floor. The source said that as Diana Ross performed, Demi and Vito "were dancing and grinding all over each other, openly, in front of other guests."
If you need a visual of Demi and Vito throwing down some sweet, sexy moves on the dance floor, then press play on a classic (you knew this was coming). Demi will play the part of Demi and Ashton will play the part of Vito. (If for some reason, you need a visual of a zombie having a seizure while red ants attack its armpits and b-hole, this video will give you that visual too.)
I can't fully hate on this. Demi and Vito look good together, and that's mostly because they both look like root vegetables molded out of clay. They're also a good pair, because Demi can use her razor sharp cheeks to cut away any rogue hairs from Vito's perfectly pruned brows.
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Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. BUT...
If Sean Penn, Michael Douglas, Bruce Willis, George Clooney...and, well, half of Hollywood men can do it, and you consider yourself a feminist, you shouldn't be so harsh on Demi for doing it. (Also, Susan Sarandon is bloody 64 and dating a 30-something. Crazy, but why not??)
Vito's an art dealer, comes from an interesting family, loves older women apparently, and looks kinda pervy. Maybe he's interesting and good in the sack?
p.s. That is a terrifying pic of Demi.
He looks like Mayim Balik.
Potato head's mom dating a potato head? Yikes, he's ugly!
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
He is ugly. Why doesn't she find a man in his 40s at the youngest? She is making herself look pathetic and desperate.
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
I feel bad for Diana Ross having to sing for these people...
She's officially a vampire.
omigod mom! UR soooo emburrassing!!!
Cheers, Foxxy! ;)
Yesterday, I actually watched Demi in "A Few Good Men". She was a decent actress. What happened?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:17pm.
Hey..... It's Mike Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
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omg i am not the only one!!!
gross.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Ewwwww...he looks like the love child of the cowardly lion and Blossom. Ewwwwww.
@ Deb -- you nailed that one MK-style baby! l.m.f.a.o.!!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:50pm.
Right, Foxxy?! LOL!
All he needs to do is let his 'fro fly instead of greasing it back. Put him in a t-shirt and jeans, with a bar rag over his shoulder. Et voila!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
lolol GG!! Ugh she's not even old yet, and no one would think of her age much if she wasn't trying so hard to be forever 21.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:36pm.
The kid looks like Rita Perlman as Carla Tortelli.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Then again, why deal with a silver daddy when you can get young fresh meat?
Lord Demi, I give up on you. Tater head and the rest of the rest of sisters can come live with me.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:17pm.
One relationship with an older woman as a younger man is fine. ba-buttons would actually encourage it. The guy gets shown the ropes, the lady gets a permanent erection to play with. Everybody wins.
Two or more relationships with an older woman? Why hello there, Mr. Mommy Complex. Can we call you Oedipus for short?
or "Puss" for short-short?
anyone have any clue what is really going on with demi.. she seems to be regressing. it's no wonder she goes for the younger men as the older guys would find her really immature..
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:18pm.
Gross Demi, you have daughters his age. YOU ARE GETTING OLD JUST LIKE EVERYONE DOES IT'S OKAY.
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Yeah, Demi, your ass is OLDER than me!!! *runs laughing*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:05pm.
who would have thought Barry Kripke would wind up banging out Elle OR Demi...
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Bwahahahahaha!!!!! I know...that's rearry, rearry messed up.
Seriously, WTF is she thinking? JFC, I can't fucking imagine dating someone 25 years younger than me (well, first off, it would be pedophilia, but you get my point). What the hell does she even talk to this douche about? How can they possibly have one single thing in common?????? 26 year old guys (with all due respect to you young D-lister guys) are just coming into their adulthood.
I dunno, I guess I have found that older men are more mature and have more interesting things to say. Plus I think they're better in bed because they're more experienced. But that's just me. *shrugs*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
ish-shoes 8-P
Demi's piece is ugly.
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:17pm.
Hey..... It's Mike Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
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THIS ^^
Hopefully he helps Demi to get over AssStain. I wonder if he'll be getting a $10K weekly stipend like that Casper Smart munchkin gets from JLo?
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Wow. Demi looks more and more like a praying mantis. Which is a very apt comparison, now that I think of it.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:21pm.
"Hey, maybe this youngster is the perv??"
Hahaha! You'll go to any lengths to keep the dream alive, won't you? Don't worry, I won't think any less of you. I can't speak for the others, though. ;)
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Who are you calling silly cow?
@ Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:31pm.
Loooove that movie :-)
Don't you mean Bawwy Kwipke?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:05pm.
who would have thought Barry Kripke would wind up banging out Elle OR Demi...
this dude is seriously fug. WTF attracted elle to him?
i'd be laughing my ass off seeing some 50 year old woman 'grinding' on the dance floor with a 26 year old guy. these people don't embarass do they?
The kid looks like Rita Perlman as Carla Tortelli.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
He looks a lot like his dad when he was young:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_i3ZT9hPf78A/TMuAfx5y22I/AAAAAAAABLU/rinxyMQEb-...
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:26pm.
Eh. He would probably be okay looking if it weren't for that area between his hairline and the top of his neck.
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LMAO!!! *still cackling*
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by mike on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:03pm.
Whippet party!!!!
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WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAAAAAAAA!
You mean to tell me that there are no men closer in age to Demi that are attractive to her?
She really SHOULD find an older man. Then he'd make her look younger.
This fetus face makes her look desperate.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
The kid is just fuckin ugly....
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"Oh, Honey. You´re simple, you´re shallow and you´re a common whor
annobanano -- Mike Damone -- good one! "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" is one of my favorite movies ever!!!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
What a dorky dancer.
I can't imagine any fifty year-old being interested in a Snoop Dogg concert or even successfully feigning interest in one.
I know your secret, Demi. If it's not a pair of sweatpants and a bowl of Activia, I know you really don't care.
Some people NEVER learn.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
That's child abuse, if you ask me
Doesn't do anything for me.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
With that bone structure, I think Vito looks better with Tater Head. I wonder what their offspring would look like?
Eh. He would probably be okay looking if it weren't for that area between his hairline and the top of his neck.
Damn MickeyHolland - he looks like he snuck a beer at his Bar Mitzvah!
Diana Ross had to put up with Demi bumping and grinding on a fetus? Wonder what song it was? My guess is " love hangover"..
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
So she can't see that hooking up with babies makes her look oldER?
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
I'll bet anything that Spastic and Kelso weren't legally married.
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Villagers, Nothing Arrived
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 5:12pm.
Elle looks like a child molester here.
True, but she looks totally different in my mind. Allow me that one escape, won't you?
Hey, maybe this youngster is the perv??
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Villagers, Nothing Arrived
Mentally, I bet he's older than her.
Demi gobbles up the young peen.
Gross Demi, you have daughters his age. YOU ARE GETTING OLD JUST LIKE EVERYONE DOES IT'S OKAY.
he no likey ze girls