The Vacuum Cleaner Man Has Seen This Lady’s Tits

November 27, 2012 / Posted by:

This clip from a local news station in Portland starring one of Oregon’s crown jewels and my idol of the night will make your brain burp up a million question marks. The local news interviewed her about blown out windows, or something, and then that leads to her talking about how the vacuum cleaner man saw her tits and how she hasn’t been allowed to drive for the past 3 years. So many questions!

Who is that vacuum cleaner man? Is that code for something, because I didn’t think vacuum cleaner men existed anymore? Does the vacuum cleaner man now have marbles in his sockets, because he was so overcome with excitement from seeing ole’ girl’s tits that he took a Kirby hose to his eyeballs? Why isn’t she allowed to drive? Does it have anything to do with her showing the vacuum cleaner man her tits? Is her sweater made of Fraggle pubes? Questions: a lot of them!

But I don’t need the answer to any of those questions. It doesn’t matter. I still love her no matter what. I just want to move to Portland and drive her around so she can show me all the people she’s flashed her tits at.

via Mashable

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