Open Post: Hosted By Jared Leto’s No Brows

November 27, 2012 / Posted by:

What in the Alien Nation Vampire Hell is the meaning of this?!

I get that Jared Leto lost a bunch of weight and waxed away his hairy eye valances to play a drag queen in The Dallas Buyers Club, but somebody give a bitch a Sharpie. Give a bitch a 4-pack of Sharpies, because Jared Leto is going to need a few of ’em. Everybody at the 22nd Annual Gotham Independent Awards in NYC last night simultaneously said, “Where are your brows, tho?”, when Jared sashayed in with zero brows and orange crap smeared all over his mouth area. Dude looks like he just ate Snookie out.

I feel like Jared just keeps fighting the hot hard and keeps daring all of us to say, “Nope, wouldn’t hit it.” But I’m not going to say it this time, because I’d still hit it. I’d even suck off one of those pointy elbows over his eyes.

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