It’s been a while since the Internet’s favorite panty creamer and the Internet’s most hated woman reminded everyone that they’re still bumping nipples. While some of us were eating post-Thanksgiving “forever alone” sandwiches (turkey, slices of cranberry jelly and gravy between two pieces of pumpkin pie), Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes (official Internet name: THAT BITCH) were strolling around NYC. When they weren’t strolling around NYC, Ryan was making grannies “gush” in Broadway theaters.
Speaking of gushing grannies, anybody who didn’t watch Extreme Cougar Wives on TLC last night missed this Blanche Devereaux meets Samantha Jones hotness:
My life idol Hattie said that she doesn’t need KY, because she still gets the gushes down there naturally. Obviously, Hattie wasn’t one of the grannies sitting next to Ryan Gosling in that theater, because if she was he would’ve dropped Eva’s hand and picked hers up instead. No young dude can resist a slutty memaw who takes her teeth out before sex and can throw her precious prune flower up in the air.
Here’s more of Ryan and Eva walking around NYC last night. That bitch Eva is just fucking with everyone now. She wore that ugly hat on purpose. Yes, Eva, we know that even though you look like a family of blueberries shat on your head, Ryan is still going to lick your butt at the end of the day.