One of the biggest man-made disasters of the 21st century will air on Lifetime tonight and you people of the future (aka East Coasters and Central Time Zoners) get to see it first while us people of the past who don’t have crystal ball TVs (aka DirecTV) have to wait until later. But no matter what time you watch this beautiful mess, we’ll all be in the same condition at the end of the night: drunker than your average Lohan and holding pieces of the lungs we laughed up while watching La Lindz as La Liz.
There’s a few Liz & Dick drinking games out there, but here’s my own. Note: You might want to call up Costco and tell them to deliver their entire supply of booze to your front door, because you’re going to need that much sweet nectar. Take a shot every time:
– You feel a light tremor under your feet from Elizabeth Taylor rolling in her grave.
– Your cat or dog mistakes LiLo’s overstuffed lips for two earth worms in distress and attacks the TV screen.
– You stare at LiLo’s face and forget you’re watching an Elizabeth Taylor biopic instead of a Rip Taylor biopic.
– Your ears barf up bits of Spotted Dick from listening to LiLo try to do a British accent.
Or you can just wrap your lips around a bottle of whatever and chug during the entire movie. Only take your mouth off of the bottle to reload. That’s what Elizabeth Taylor will be doing in heaven. If anything can make the spirit of Elizabeth Taylor fall off the wagon, it’s this. Happy boozing, everyone!