Coked Up Messes Gotta Stick Together

November 25, 2012 / Posted by:

While shooting up together in his trailer on the set of Scary Movie 5 back in September, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan bonded the way all drunk messes bond while taking turns snorting a bump out of a call girl’s b-hole. TMZ says that between filming, LiLo and Charlie hung out and she told him all of her problems including her problems with the IRS. LiLo owes the IRS almost $234k for not paying taxes in 2009 and 2010. Since Charlie always has his Captain Save-A-Crack-Ho hat on, he offered to pay off LiLo’s tax debt, but she refused. Future civilizations will refer to “LiLo turning down money” as the final sign of the Rapture.

You’d think that the dented metal memory cabinet in Charlie Sheen’s head is filled with nothing but crack smoke, but apparently it isn’t. Charlie remembered LiLo’s problems with the IRS and last week he sent her business manager a charitable gift in the form of a $100,000 check. This time LiLo accepted his gift and used it to pay almost half of her IRS bill. Some source says that Charlie did it out of the goodness of his crack damaged heart and wants nothing in return. Uh huh.

TMZ also says that LiLo is going to make $2 million this year and who knows if any of that money went to the IRS. But why should LiLo send her money to the IRS when she can send Charlie’s instead?   Obviously, Charlie didn’t give LiLo that money for free and now every time he comes calling, she’s gotta slurp on his perma-soft coke peen and slurping on his perma-soft coke peen is probably as boring as deep throating an overcooked fettuccine noodle. But she’s done a lot worse for $100,000 (see: I Know Who Killed Me) and she can write off all the mind numbing substances she has to snort to get through an intimate moment with Charlie.

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