RiRi Spent Thanksgiving Getting On This

Right after RiRi finished the last show on her Skanks On A Plane Tour 2012, she jumped back on a jet to see her “lover” in Berlin and yes, that lover’s name starts with a Fist and ends with a Brown. In one tweet, RiRi let all of her millions of followers know that she was flying across a damn ocean to jump on a pool noodle dick belonging to a corroded asshole who almost killed her:

All alone in my big ole jet!!! See u soon lover http://instagr.am/p/SSSLqshM4a/

 During Thanksgiving dinner last night, I almost heaved chunks of corn pudding up when my little cousin just had to say that the fatty turkey skin looked like the scabs on his legs. That heave has come back to me thanks to RiRi’s tweet. The Difficult Brown’s dick must have cast a serious black magic spell on DiaRiRi’s poon, because she’s suffering from stage 4 dickmatization. Chris Brown is looking like a Sméagol crackhead and RiRi still wants to jump on that. And I’m so glad I got through this post without making a joke about how Fist Brown stuffed RiRi’s turkey hole on Thanksgiving. That would’ve ruined my leftove… Oh, wait. Dammit!