LeAnn Rimes Is Trying To Have A Band-Aid Baby

November 21, 2012 / Posted by:

The mournful wail of a sad Falcor has been filling the valleys of Los Angeles every night, because LeAnn Rimes is crying about possibly losing the only thing that keeps her in the tabloids: her gold digging husband Eddie Cibrian. Eddie is living a life of luxury, but it’s hard for him to fully enjoy caviar and champagne when it’s been tainted by the insanity that LeAnn spews out every second of the day.

A source, whose name probably rhymes with Candy ManPill, tells Star Magazine (via Radar) that Eddie is regretting the day he legally became LeAnn’s kept bitch. LeAnn is on the opposite side of sane and Eddie can’t take it anymore. Eddie told LeAnn that he needs to spend some time away from her craziness (read: stick his head in a side piece’s crotch until the ringing in his hears from listening to LeAnn’s crazed screeches goes away). Meanwhile, LeAnn thinks that if she fills her womb with a squinting foal or colt, Eddie will stay. The source said this:

“It never seems to end. He can’t take all of the drama anymore. He told her he needs some time alone to get his head together.

Eddie has to pay child support for [his sons with Brandi Glanville,] Mason and Jake. And let’s face it, his career is at a standstill. LeAnn is the breadwinner and he’s not about to destroy that gravy train. But he’s checked out emotionally. Being with LeAnn is a lot of work. Eddie’s staring to question whether it’s even worth it.

LeAnn is trying to save her marriage by having a baby. She’s taking vitamins and charting her cycle, and she’s even putting on a few pounds, hoping it will help her conceive. Her goal is to be pregnant in 2013, no matter what — even if she has to try IVF. She blames some of her emotional problems on not having a baby of her own.”

Let me fix that third sentence for the source: “He told her he needs some time alone to get head from another ho.” There, that’s better.

Eddie Cibrian is such a sad excuse for a gold digger. That piece of trash needs to suck it up. What kind of wallet fucker stops milking his cash cow just because she’s annoying? Do you think Heather Mills liked listening to Beatles songs all day? No, but she drowned those songs out with the ka-ching sound of dollar signs popping in her head. Do you think Vanessa Bryant enjoys inhaling a cloud of side skank every time Kobe Bryant comes home? No, but she’s getting through it by imagining the day when the only thing she’ll inhale is the sweet scent of money, honey.

Living with a wild, untamed, crazy horse isn’t easy (I have seen The Horse Whisperer), but Eddie’s weak ass needs to pull his eyes out of the squint position and keep both of his seeing globes on the prize. What an embarrassment that Eddie Cibrian is.

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