Where Are Her Feets?!

November 19, 2012 / Posted by:

Jessica Simpson somehow found the strength to pull herself out of the fetal position she curled into the second she found out Hostess was dead (or not) and she put on an oh-so-brave face to sign autographs with her sister Ashlee Simpson at an event for her shoe collection at Dillard’s in Tampa, FL on Saturday afternoon. UsWeekly says that Jessica has lost around 60 pounds of chunk ever since Weight Watchers waved a multi-million dollar check at her face and I’m guessing that about 5 of those pounds were lost after she cut her feet off! Bitch, your jeans ate your toes.

I know some shorties wear shoe-covering boot cut jeans to make themselves look taller, but I don’t get how not having VF (visible feets) makes a ho look taller. It just makes Jessica Simpson look she’s got toe-less hooves. I feel like she should be shaking a plastic tub full of coins while singing, “I have no feets.”

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >