I didn’t think this moment would ever come, but it has. I’m staring at a picture of Ke$hit and I’m not pinching my nose while holding my breath so that her dumpster water stank doesn’t waft up into my body. It’s truly amazing what a quarantine tent, a sandblasting, a RAID shower and a renovation from the Property Brothers can do. Ke$hit showed up to the American Music Awards and for once she didn’t look like she just crawled out from under a heap of rotten fish at the landfill. Yes, Ke$hit would barely come in 9th place on RuPaul’s Drag Race and her dress looks like a nana’s shower curtain, but she looks clean-ish and she’s the fanciest looking linebacker I’ve ever seen.
And did Ke$ha’s crotch crabs crawl up to her ear? Even they dressed up and bedazzled themselves for the occasion. When Ke$ha and her crotch crabs look fancy, we know that EVERYTHING has changed.