The sound of her child screaming and wailing through the baby monitor woke Justin Bieber’s mother up late last night after he came home in tears, because his on-and-off piece Selena Gomez was a big meanie to him at dinner. TMZ says that The Lesbeaver and Selena had dinner at a Japanese restaurant in Encino, CA last night and it ended with a huge fight of words. My guess is that Justin got mad because Selena refused to cut up his sushi into little pieces and didn’t make the “vroom vroom” sound while spoon feeding him Mochi. The Biebs had a tantrum, so Selena left and he followed her home in his Ferrari Big Wheels. When he got to her house, he tried to go inside, but Selena denied him! That cold baby-abusing bitch.
But really, do you blame Selena for being mean to Bieber? I’d be mean to a baby too if he showed up wearing that mess of a onesie (or whatever that is). Is that what Gymboree is selling nowadays? I don’t even know what those pants are doing. It’s like a pair of Long Johns shitting up a pair of Hammer pants. Justin is trying to make us think that just because his pants dropped, that means his balls dropped too. Nice try, Justin.
And let’s wash away the image of Justin’s droopy diaper leggings with pictures of his hot new bodyguard. This might be the only time I’ve ever been jealous of Justin Bieber. Because when Selena hurts his innocent heart, he can cry into the iron arms of this hot piece.