Hot Slut Of The Day!
To quote the completely sane political performance artist Victoria Jackson: America is dead. RIP America. I can't stop crying!
That howling sound you heard outside of your bedroom window early this morning was Mama June and Honey Boo Boo Chile wailing and screaming over the loss of an American treasure: HOSTESS! Diabetes rates will drop, but hearts will break.
I will never EVER see the words "Hostess" and "Sno-Balls" together on the same package again, because Hostess is dead. Goodnight sweet, processed, delicious prince. I'll always remember the times I motorboated you, because you looked like two glorious chocolate chichis covered in pink carpet. I was happy to munch on your carpet. Hostess gave me my first Sno-Ball experience and now they're gone forever! Hold me closer, Little Debbie.
After 82 years of injecting the hearts of Amurca with corn syrup, Hostess announced this morning that they are filing for bankruptcy and selling all of the sugar-coated jewels in their vault. Hostess was in danger for a while, girl, but they're blaming their death on a recent labor strike. One of the company's biggest unions went on strike a week ago and Hostess told them that if they didn't put down their signs and go back to work, they'd have to kill Captain Cupcake. The union workers didn't stop striking, so Hostess is locking up their doors. They said that they can't survive through a strike. The company's CEO issued this statement of words to The New York Times:
"We deeply regret the necessity of today's decision, but we do not have the financial resources to weather an extended nationwide strike."
Hostess has asked the court to let them liquidate all their assets and lay off 18,500 employees. This isn't totally the end for my precious Sno-Balls, Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Fruit Pies and Wonder Bread. Little Debbie and Bimbo the Bear are sashaying over to the Hostess factory with bags full of money in their hands, because Hostess is selling off their beloved recipes to the highest bidder. Yes, Wonder Bread is in danger of dying too! Now what is your mom going to serve with sketti at dinner? Dinner isn't the same without your mom throwing a bag of Wonder Bread on the table.
Before you run off to the food auction to wrestle Mama June for the last box of Zingers (Note: DAMN! Now Hostess Twinkies are going to be the Rothkos of the food auction world), let's squeeze a Twinkie and pour out some whipped corn syrup cream for Hostess. We will never forget (mostly because our daily insulin shots won't let us).
And now let's end this memorial with a beautiful and touching hymn:
RIP HOSTESS!
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Joe Shmoe - I posted 3 comments. The 2 posted earlier are based entirely on fact. The comment that you are quoting is the one I addressed to Cluny Brown and for which I never promoted as anything but my opinion. Relatively speaking I have not been posting here long and I don't know anyone here personally. I was just trying to emphasize, in my OPINION, that Obama has a lot of plans for MY country that are forbidden by OUR Constitution and for which he has no right to implement. But many Dlisters apparently want and understand free stuff more than they want or understand freedom so... The thing is, our Constitution specifically protects me from people like that.
Anyway, I think my comment to Cluny Brown is quite obviously my opinion of our country's situation but it was arrived at through keeping myself informed and so I have to say that my observation of Obama as a cynical man is spot on. I have been watching him tell horrible falsehoods about Romney and Republicans that more accurately apply to him while he promises free stuff to his base with MY money and he got reelected because of it, all without having a single word to say about what he has done in the past 4 years or what he will do in the next. Not one word touting that healthcare monstrosity he shoved down our throats, not one word about debt reduction, entitlement reform, or spending cuts; not one word explaining his utter failures as President. All of this while his fawning press corp (our Truth to Power/Third Pillar of Our Freedom press corp) tears Ann Romney to shreds for wearing a $700 blouse during an interview one day and then exclaiming over Michelle's chicness in her $6,000 jacket the next.
Submitted by pfk on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 10:42pm.
..he is not nearly as intelligent or talented or hard-working or DECENT as any one of you here on Dlisted. He's just a MAN. A common MAN, and a very, very cynical one
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I'm not American and so don't vote in your elections but you weaken your argument (which is being lauded for its basis in fact) with the last statement which I cut and pasted. That's not a fact (except the part about him being a man) - it's an opinion which by definition makes it subjective.
And if you'll forgive me saying so it's an opinion that made me blink in astonishment. You're saying that everyone that posts on Dlisted is more intelligent and hardworking than Barack Obama? Have you been posting here long?
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Submitted by pfk on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 4:01am.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for injecting logic and facts into this diseased thread.
*runs through thread to steal Foxxys raspberry zingers*
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
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Cluny Brown - thank you for your kind words but I know I'm no smarter than anyone else here. I would never be able to write as smartly or humorously as Michael, and 99% of the "Caption This..." posts are so admirably funny. I know that I haven't had the life experiences that many on here have had, either. I just ask that people look into subjects and happenings that affect, or will affect, their lives (and the lives of others, too), especially if the architects of those happenings have POWER. Why doesn't a question mark even make a flitting appearance across their minds when it is the people in power who are telling them what to think? Let me tell you liberal Dlisters something - everything in that old fuddy-duddy Constitution is in there to protect YOU, the individual with inherent natural-born Creator-given rights, from those in positions of POWER, and I can guarantee that those who actively seek power do it because they want to have power over YOU. There has never been a bunch in the Executive Branch (or the Congress when the Democrats had super majorities in both Houses for TWO YEARS) that has treated that DIVINELY inspired document with such contempt. Obama does something unconstitutional at least once a week for fuck's sake, and he is not nearly as intelligent or talented or hard-working or DECENT as any one of you here on Dlisted. He's just a MAN. A common MAN, and a very, very cynical one.
"she can just go to Charles Krauthammer's and Ann Coulter's and Papa Bear's and Fox News etc etc websites,"
Indeed, Foxxy. It's called "know your enemy".
I am well aware of the fetid garbage the above spout on the regular. Unfortunately.
You gals are making me giggle w. your Hostess love, so now I feel bad for dissing them. :/
And of course it's sad that people are out of jobs through no fault of their own.
The same thing is going to happen to the coal industry as we evolve and progress as a people. So hopefully both healthy food and alternative energy will be able to keep up w. demand and these industries can hire these displaced people on!
Have a great day Foxxy. Catch you later!
Ho ho's and Ding Dongs you will be missed by millions! *wails*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 3:37pm.
sure she does, gladys. she can just go to Charles Krauthammer's and Ann Coulter's and Papa Bear's and Fox News etc etc websites, cut-and-paste and edit just like you do
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Why in the Hell would a flaming lib like Anonymouse go to a conservative website?
Sounds like you do though, because you have heard of some that I have no idea what you are talking about. Who is Papa Bear?
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squirrels to the nuts!
heehehe Foxxy, I'm curious, did NASA carry any Hostess products? Ok, CHEM-not-good-for-you-thats-why-they-taste-great-ICALS! Better?
Similar to Blackberry, they were too late coming out with competitive alternatives. The nostalgia market was their niche, not health foods. How's the online auction going, Foxxy? :)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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gotta go do errands during break in rain - have a good Sat all!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Cluny Brown on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 4:38pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 3:37pm.
wasn't that hard. you quote or paraphrase his point a view a lot. for example, your Petraeus conspiracy theory comes from him.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by bambam on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 4:32pm.
i so read that as "King Dongs"
i think the Hostess subsidiaries (Drake's, Dolly Madison, etc) were allowed to keep their original recipes when bought. i agree. why buy a failing brand and not eliminate that brand's failing products if yours is superior? but i guess that was the union's and Obama's fault too
/but i'm one of the dlisters lacking in reading comprehension and without a degree in economics awarded by Rupert Murdoch University so ignore that
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 3:37pm.
just go to Charles Krauthammer's .............
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Thank YOU for mentioning my love, Charles! This man is the absolute shit plus he is a psychiatrist. He knows the mindset of everyone he talks about. Thank God we have him on our side.
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squirrels to the nuts!
Hey all. What I don't get is (as I'm finishing my last pack of Ring Dings) if Hostess owned Drakes why didn't their King Dons taste as good as Ring Dings? Fuck the what is that about?
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I love Jayzus but I drink a little.
@Within,
there is (was) a Hostess outlet between the freeway exit and my closest major mall. my car was known to steer itself there every couple of months or so to purchase whole wheat bread, of course. but if they happened to have* the snack cakes for 5 packages for $1 or marked down boxes, it would be rude not to politely accept their offer, wouldn't it?
* "happened to have" = "they always had"
this might help you. or hurt you.
ETA: no, that was Bacon who posted that link. but i sure as hell bookmarked it, lol
*ignores your use of the "c" word lalalalalalala i don't hear you
http://blogs.wsj.com/corporate-intelligence/2012/11/16/its-not-just-twin...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy, do you remember eating any of the Hostess snacks recently? Despite their excellent names, [ho ho's is inspired lol] I can't. They should have started selling nostalgia-inspired special occasion cakes made of their cupcakes. Those would have sold very well. Someone linked to their recipes, was that you? Where would you get all those chemicals? ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@ Within n Anonymouse --
*sits and continues to write tiny little price stickers* ;-P
imo part of the problem is that, during the decade or so spent partly during republican political administrations Hostess's 5 or 6 management teams had to pull the corporate shit together, rather than cut costs and products and executive salaries and working in good faith with the unions, the brain trusts composed of the indigenous original white peoples of the americas instead bought every other failing producer of baked snacks [*let's pause for those owners and stockholders to have a hearty guffaw*] as a means to accomplish "get money fast bitches!"
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy, just saw your post about rushing out to the store upon hearing the news. That's why they ran out so fast! You're auctioning them off already? hahaha ;D
@Anonymouse, ITA, Hostess had major problems. From their product list, it's easy to see they didn't change with the times, no matter how delicious their goodies. Cute video. RIP Hostess!
♫ Blame it on the rain! ♫
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by cricket on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:04am.
i'll bid half a box of regular twinkies and 2/3 box of strawberry cupcakes for one of those boxes of orange cupcakes
/that's right bitches, our economy is now based upon the Hostess product possession standard
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Cluny Brown on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 1:32pm.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 1:07pm.
I love the smell of conspiracy theories in the morning.
How the hell did we go from Twinkies to political screeds?
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Don't even try Anonymouse. You don't have the mental chops for this.
sure she does, gladys. she can just go to Charles Krauthammer's and Ann Coulter's and Papa Bear's and Fox News etc etc websites, cut-and-paste and edit just like you do
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Angela. Stop talking to me.
Once again.
Re: Hostess. I'm not sad at all to see them go. Vile concoctions that didn't keep up with the times. I know scores of people who don't eat anything with corn syrup in it.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 1:07pm.
I love the smell of conspiracy theories in the morning.
How the hell did we go from Twinkies to political screeds?
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Don't even try Anonymouse. You don't have the mental chops for this.
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squirrels to the nuts!
I love the smell of conspiracy theories in the morning.
How the hell did we go from Twinkies to political screeds?
*delete triple post
*delete triple post
stefystef - "I guess they will blame obama for this one too."
You mean the children ruling our country will actually take responsibility for once instead of blaming Bush?!!! That's great! Personally I've been finding this middle-aged toddler show extremely tiring (and unattractive!). But I have to warn you, I believe this entire administration of corrupt Chicago Alinskyites (Google it as I'm very wearily sure you have no idea what I'm talking about. Interesting fact: Obama taught Saul Alinsky tactics as a professor, a professor who never published squat and was rated by his students near the bottom as a teacher, btw) and every Democrat congressperson is quite confident they can blame Bush for every one of their pre-planned atrocities to their less-than-average-intelligence base while they fuck up the smart ones who make this country work (i.e. pay taxes).
Oh, and I'm with you on the unprepared-for-down-times corporations. There's a lot of them! I just heard a radio host read the names of a few of them from a mile long list of corporations that together will be laying off thousands, if not millions, of workers because Obama won reelection. But that might be misconstrued as actually preparing for down times, don't you think? I know! Maybe you could start a business and show them how it's done! The first person you consult with for advice (because your not a business owner, are you?) can be MeowMeow, who posted a comment a few Dlisters up from you. Don't forget to ask MeowMeow who s/he thinks is to blame when your business not only never gets off the ground but sets you back to prehistoric times. Or it may be more accurate to say back to that socialist utopian toilet known as the Soviet Union.
PFK......
God you are good. It is a privilege to read your intelligent articulate posts.
You just absolutely shred the opposition and you do it with facts....I love it!
Can you please post more often?
Are you a business owner if i might ask?
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squirrels to the nuts!
MargeAggedon - Hostess has been in the red for several years. They were trying to reorganize under bankruptcy and get their shit together when the union went on strike. Reorganization would undoubtedly have meant voided union contracts and some lay-offs so the poor little union thugs decided that everybody should lose their jobs permanently right before the holidays. I think they're the ones who are laughing along with Obama because now he has 18,000 more human beings dependent on the crumbs from his ever-shrinking pie made with OUR labor.
I honestly don't think the greedy bastards who own the place think its very funny since they are the stockholders. What are stockholders? Well, stockholders are just regular people (like you and me!), many of whom own a piece of whatever greedy corporation they happen to work for. Then there are the families who depend on dividends to pay some of their monthly bills (like food and clothes and shelter) and parents who hope their investment grows enough so that they can cash in when their kids are ready to go off to college. Last (but not least!) there are the senior citizens whose pension plans are the investments they made in greedy corporations (ever heard of 401K's? Interesting tidbit: bailing out federal and state union pension plans is where the vast majority of our - oops! I mean Obama's - stimulus money went. Gotta keep the takers happy I guess, especially when they're your only voting block since you're an incompetent, lazy, narcissist mediocrity whose dream is to turn our Constitution into your toilet paper because it's an unfair document created by old white men who risked their lives and families and belongings and fought hard for their freedom and worked their asses off to get away from slaving for a government while you've had everything done for you or handed to you).
Btw, while teaching jobs were ostensibly what Obama's stimulus was trying to "save" in order to keep the dues flowing to the unions ($2,000,000 spent to save 1 job), this tactic does not grow the economy because teachers do not produce anything. That money was gone within a year and many teachers were laid off anyway. In fact, the only place where no teachers were laid off is Wisconsin where the governor fought the teacher's union and won. I personally think a great teacher is the most beautiful creature on the planet and should be rewarded according to merit so please don't be outraged because I said teachers don't produce anything. I meant this in a purely economic sense. I in turn won't be outraged that your reading comprehension is not good, that you have no understanding of economics, and that your research and critical thinking skills are nothing to be proud of. But your emotional self-righteousness is in great shape! I'm sure we have a public school teacher to thank for that!
"Submitted by SoMissDelicious on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:34am.
IN THIS ECONOMY, thanks for fucking it up for everyone unions. Theres 18500 people with out a job. Lets all slow clap your selfishness shall we?"
Yes, those awful unions who are the reason we have a 5 day/40 hour work week, sick leave, maternity leave, holiday pay, minimum wage, and vacation time. Damn them!
Hostess blaming the unions for their a. relative irrelevance in a time when people are eating healthier and b. bad business practices is total crap.
Just finished savoring a hostess orange cupcake! Damn they're so good!! Nobody gets the orange flavor down like them, and the smell when you open the package...sigh hopefully they're not gone for good
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
I was at Shop And Save when I got off work at 11am.The shelves were full of Hostess snack cakes.I got 2 boxes of orange cupcakes cause they were on sale for $1.98 Got home saw Hostess was dead and decided to go right back and get some Ding Dongs too. It only took like 15 minutes to get back there and when I did they were all gone. Every single frickin box was gone. Not even a crumb was left. No Ding Dongs,No Suzi-Qs Nothing I'm so pissed I didn't get the Ding Dongs when i was there. RIP Hostess My fat ass is going to miss you.
TEAM KICK THE BAKERS IN THE OVEN
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Lesbian Sourfruit on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 6:11pm.
Thank the good lord I still have Tasty Kakes!
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Amen, sister! I'm going east for Thanksgiving, and will be stockpiling some Kandy Kakes! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Well, the good news is that if you manage to stockpile a bunch of your favorites, they'll last forever. Those things have more preservatives in them than Joan Rivers' face.
Also, LOL @ "Hold me closer, Little Debbie." HAHAHA!
Oh great...more jobs lost. Personally for me, the Swiss Rolls were awesome.
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I first found your website during the Mother's Circus Cookie crackdown and I remember it like it was yesterday!
I like that shade of pink.
Where I live we have delicious Joe Louis cakes made by Vachon, a Québec company.
Zey faisent le peepee all ovaaair your duurty maudite Sno-Ball !!!!
*throwing down the glove*
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OMG Foxxy!! I forgot the crumb cakes were theirs too!!
*sobs loudly*
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
On the bright side,I'll be happy to see Twinkies go!
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Calling all Dlisted Hostess Horz! I found this link while surfing. You're welcome!
http://www.yumsugar.com/Homade-Hostess-Brand-Recipes-22738269
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Submitted by Lesbian Sourfruit on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 6:11pm.
sit down. Drake's is a Hostess company.
/there will be blood if someone does not continue to make the butterscotch krimpets or coffee cakes. blood.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Thank the good lord I still have Tasty Kakes!
Personally I'm grateful for my soul-crushing non-stop job from hell with minimal benefits, because I'd rather be miserable with a paycheck than miserable without. *bends over*
Crap logic to blame the unions. Hostess could have raised prices slightly, per unit, to cover what's being asked for in wages. Just like the owner of Papa John's Gross-Ass Pizza, companies like these are crying that if the prices were raised even by a few cents, to cover things like wages and healthcare, they would be out of business.
Bull. People who buy snacks haven't minded that the shit's gotten more expensive for smaller sizes, over the years. And would be more forgiving, if it's going towards keeping an employee from hacking a lung or deadly disease into food items, or making sure one's not so hungry, tired or sick as to cause other catastrophes, regarding products and services.
Fuck the holidays. It sucks for anyone to lose their jobs at any time. That part's tough. However, companies with the mindset of Hostess and Papa John's are why we're in this mess in the first place. We have to stop blaming unions and workers, and lay blame where it belongs: greedy-ass corporations who would rather close than have it recorded on the books that they made a mil or two less profit in a quarter or two, for the benefit of their workers, products and the U.S. economy. Their logic is either we turn what's left of American manufacturing into China, or send the jobs over there. Workers and unions need to stand up to them, and the rest of us have to stop buying their products...and make it clear that we will only buy quality, and that includes knowing that our fellow citizens are being taken care of, to produce things of quality.
: ( I hope someone buys the recipes soon! I can't live without my beloved orange cupcakes!
http://www.google.com/search?q=hostess+orange+cupcakes&hl=en&client=safa...
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
off topic... Millions of people by Apple products. (not me) Apple has a facotry in China because China offers corporations sweet deals just so they can have work for their workers.
I'm sure in detroit in the old car factories, those detroit workers would love to build Apple products and have a job.
They probably would love to bake twinkies too.
I feel bad for these people. Right before the holidays sucks. But I feel worse for them that they are being herded into a dependency state that will be tough to move out of...
The reasons are many, I suspect.
Poor management.
Labor Costs
People aren't buying this stuff as much.
So if your product is not selling, you have to revamp the product. Or keep the product and know you have a target customer (cheap snack cake eaters.) Though It's a snack. Not a daily necessity. Hence limited revenue.
Management should not get raises during down years, especially for not achieving. And workers, i.e., unions, can't not compromise and expect to keep their jobs. If they really wanted to save the company, lay off everyone, give them a managemable severence. Then set up tables in the twinky parking lot and start hiring. First come first served, and not at dirt cheap wages, but manageable wages. Then when the company is doing better, the offer raises based on merit.
3 boxes strawberry cream cheese cupcakes [the 100 calorie kind because i'm health conscious]
2 boxes regular twinkies
1 box chocolate twinkies
1 box raspberry zingers
2 boxes little debbie pumpkin delights
2 boxes little debbie christmas tree cakes
now reside in the "earthquake supplies" section of my garage [aka "next to the box of wine and a couple of bottles of cordials"]
/i was only kidding about my attire, lmao
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by greeneggs on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 2:55pm.
Haven't had them in YEARS, however if I had to pick a favorite it would definitely be Ding Dongs. I'm sure if I had one today I would think they were gross, but back in the day, I used to love me some Ding Dongs! Remember they were wrapped in foil? Ahhh....memories.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember Ring Dings wrapped in foil. I would eat the Ring Ding, then "iron" the foil free of wrinkles, then fold into a rectangle a la gum wrappers, and make a "metal" necklace.
*ODs on nostalgia*