Hot Slut Of The Day!
Squeezit, the waxy bottle of fruit-flavored battery acid that burned the insides of children in the 80s and 90s.
The children of today, who are probably drinking 100% organic tree leaf nectar right now, really need to know that they don't make children's drinks the way that they used to. Case in point: Squeezit. Squeezit's bottle was like a hallowed out wax candle and putting your lips on it was like making out with Cher. Inside of the bottle was some diabetes-summoning deliciousness that tasted like dozens of melted Lifesavers mixed with syrup made from Corn Pops. It was delicious and you wouldn't expect anything less from a drink whose name made you think of squeezing the pus out of zits.
General Mills squeezed the fun out life by murdering and burying Squeezit in 2001. I will hate them forever for that, because I never got the chance to be a real adult by drinking Squeezit with vodka. I don't even want to know who bought the "squeeze the fun out of life" tagline. Here's the commercial that I'm pretty sure was produced and directed by Pedobear:
Oh, Squeezit, you were dead fucking wrong in so many ways, but I will always miss you.
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General component protect skin to taste,the court will pack than ordinary passenger loading senior five times,have a lot of guests in nursing will specially to buy a whole suit,specialized to make himself to shop after nursing slowly use.For added chemical preservative products for,so no problem,convenient health,but just for one person.But for organic products for,have less packaging big court installed.
It's 100% "drink," not juice.
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Tell me that's not what i know it is-Michael Scofield
They still have something like this. Every year at the school carnival kids' lips and tongues are turning bright blue and red. It's not 100% juice though--more like 100% crap. They''re really tiny too, so everyone drinks a ton and there's scads of non-recyled plastic filling up the trash.
Bring back squeezits.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
I remember these! Well I remember it tasting like shit.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
That shit was nasty and it seriously burned your throat and I always felt jipped that the bottle didn't really come to life and start talking to you. Same with Aunt Jemima. That's false advertisement.
OMG I loved these...in the late 80s my hometown grocery store used to sell them for 25 cents a piece even though they were marked "not labled for individual sale".
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
I see your squeezits and I'll raise you an otter pop!!
Bahaha I loved these, and I chewed on the wax. It was nasty. Next you should do the ORBITZ soda with the weird things floating in it, also discontinued.
Ahhhhh memories! I remember drinking this and also drinking soda can they had with Mario on them. Good times.
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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
oh child nutrition of the 90s... the reason why I had a mouthful of cavities! As a small child I would like to pretend that rockets (smarties in the u.s.?) were vitamin pills.
I also miss those chocolate cigarettes with city names on the boxes. I remember 'smoking' those before I could read properly. Chicago was my favourite for some reason... probably because I read it as "Chango"... durr
oh my god i fucking loved these, i remember they also had a clear version and each bottle came with a tablet you'd put in it and it would change color! It was like MYSTERY FLAVOR SQUEEZIT! or something
the mystery flavor is diabetes
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
I used to hate these as a kid. Too tooth meltingly sweet for me. My brother loved them. Of course I was the kid that liked black licorice and plain corn flakes. Still do.
I used to drink this shit like water when I was a kid, but ironiclly, Im not over weight and don't have the beetus so go figure....
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"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Oh lol Pedobear is always there to crack us up. I think I may have seen these things years ago, but I never tried them.
We had some version of this shit in Germany. One of the few times i got to drink one was when i almost choked to death on a lollipop at age 4 and my Mom tried to save my life by pouring this shit down my throat and flush that lollipop down...
Hekki, they still sell those barrel shaped things here. I think its 4 for a buck now. And those Teddybear shaped bottles. I am tempted to try one..
i remember this!!! this was considered "snack" in my kiddie world...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 12:27pm.
I vaguely remember little mini versions in my day handed out as Halloween treats you could actually eat the waxy container after sucking out the fluid. Or at least I did. I'll probably have to have that removed in the future
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Nik-L-Nips. I used to work at a candy store in high school and all the oldies would ask if we had them (we did.) Oldies loved the licorice pipes too.
Blast from the past! Mom didn't buy us much junk food, but we'd cruise over to the local convenience store on our bikes (banana seats & streamers on the handles, biatches!) and get those, the chocolate ice cube thingees and cinnamon Freshen-Up gum. So gross to think about now...
Never had this stuff.
I miss Koogle. The chocolate one was addictive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPSnDwBDhsQ
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
I vaguely remember little mini versions in my day handed out as Halloween treats you could actually eat the waxy container after sucking out the fluid. Or at least I did. I'll probably have to have that removed in the future.
My younger brother and I drank the hell out of these things at my grandmother's house during the summer. Ironically, my grandmother is actually a diabetic but would still let us suck these down 2 at a time lol. Whatever kept us out of her hair during Matlock was fine with her I guess.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
what i like about it was, in each bottle was at least 20 teaspoons of sugar! and 100% fruit juice!
those drinks were the bomb, i used to bring them to school for recess and lunch time.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 11:57am.
Submitted by vsminimoose on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 11:20am.
Easy...personal computers, smart phones and video games didn't rule our lives as 80s babies. We actually played outside and got exercise :) Burned off all the crap we ate!
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True dat!! The whipper snappers of today have it not easy without trying to digest all that sh!t. ** shakes cane **
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My aunt used to buy these. You could squeeze the whole bottle out in 1 drink. My cousin would drink like 10 at a time. So healthy!
Mk always brings up stuff I barely remember and never experienced. Maybe because of my strict childhood diet if Cheerios, oatmeal, water, and liver.
"This world is a whore."
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 11:19am.
We never had those, but we could usually con my dad into buying those ghetto drinks that came in little barrel-shaped containers sealed with foil. They were 10 for a dollar and we'd freeze them. The grape flavor was pretty good, but yeah, battery acid.
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lol, don't ask my why I know (we don't have this drink in Canada) but I think people call it 'quarter water'. You pick it up down at the 'bodega'.
Freezing them sounds cool. We used to have this frozen treat in Canada call a 'Lola'. A big dodecahedron of frozen purple ice that was impossible to eat without making a huge mess. So good.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Submitted by vsminimoose on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 11:20am.
Easy...personal computers, smart phones and video games didn't rule our lives as 80s babies. We actually played outside and got exercise :) Burned off all the crap we ate!
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
"I'm pretty sure was produced and directed by Pedobear:"
Michael K, if you are insinuating that I am supposed to visualize an erect penis in place of those waxy bottles than I am mortified. MORTIFIED!
My mom never let me have these! Yet she had no problem buying me Cookie Crisp cereal. Mmm.
They still have these, it's a Kool-Aid brand & they're like a buck fifty for a 6 pack. I'm sure they're a different, "healthier" formulation. My daughter always tries to convince me to buy them for her lunch because "Mom, they ARE juice!". Nice try, kid.
OH I REMEMBER THESE!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I used to sneak these in the shopping cart so my Mom would buy them for me! Always scheming, even as a child!
It does look diabetes-inducing.
My son loved these and drank hundreds of them back in the 90s
Between this and Mondo it's a damn wonder every kid from the 80s & 90s isn't a diabetic already.
"I love how he's staring at the camera like, 'Someone call an AMBERT ALERT, because you will get lost in these eyes.'" - MK
Hahahaha, squeeze it right into your moufs, kids!
We never had those, but we could usually con my dad into buying those ghetto drinks that came in little barrel-shaped containers sealed with foil. They were 10 for a dollar and we'd freeze them. The grape flavor was pretty good, but yeah, battery acid.
We could also get him to buy fruit roll-ups because FRUIT, and chocolate and caramel covered granola bars because GRANOLA. It's healthy!
I have no idea how I managed to be born in the 80's and make it out of the 80's without being a mega heffalump.
I could suck those Squeezits down two at a time in less than a minute. Jesus.