Needs Way More CGI

November 14, 2012 / Posted by:

The next three Star Wars movies will be shot in somebody’s garage and all the costumes will be made of cardboard and empty Mountain Dew cans, because Disney put all their money and more into the Wizard of Oz prequel, Oz: The Great and Powerful. Disney released the first full trailer for it this morning.

My abuelita had this moving waterfall painting in her bedroom that came alive when you plugged it in. The entire painting lit up, the waterfall moved, birds chirped and the rainbow over the water glowed. It was more real-looking and awe-inspiring than anything in the Oz: The Great and Powerful trailer. I know it’s not supposed to look like real life, but damn. If they were going to use this much CGI, they should’ve used some CGI magic to make James Franco look anything but smug. I know, I’m just saying that because I’m jealous of the fact that Franco is an award-winning blogger.

Oz: The Great and Powerful is basically just a damage control piece, because they want us to believe that before the Wizard was a cranky, old, assholian bitch, he was a good man who wanted to do great things. Please, the Wizard of Oz was born a straight-up bitch and Disney can’t convince me otherwise.

All shade aside, this doesn’t look as awful as I thought it was going to look. It looks like the perfect movie to get stoned to (but what isn’t?). My only real problem is that somebody needs to give Michelle Williams a hug or some TUMS already. Girl always looks like she’s either got bad indigestion or she just watched the last part of Where the Red Fern Grows. Or maybe Michelle is just on the verge of letting out a stream of happy tears, because she can’t believe that she’s acting opposite the greatest artist in the world: James Franco.

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