This is the kind of magic that happens when you mix together a pre-Matt Lauer Today show, the 1980s and Florida. Today, Satan shows himself through Ke$hit’s music and back in 1984, he showed himself through kitchen appliances. Before Richard Dominick produced The Jerry Springer, he gave television journalism its greatest moment when he interviewed the Florida beauty who had a love/hate relationship with her possessed toaster. Homegirl had the Regan MacNeil of toasters and didn’t even mind it. Satan is totally an asshole, but he was a forward asshole, because he was showing himself in toast long before Jesus did.
And this is good news for those of us who have already earned a non-refundable ticket on Ninth Circle Airlines, because we now know that there’s toast in Hell. Yay.