Monday, November 12th 2012

Open Post: Hosted By The Satanic Toaster

This is the kind of magic that happens when you mix together a pre-Matt Lauer Today show, the 1980s and Florida. Today, Satan shows himself through Ke$hit's music and back in 1984, he showed himself through kitchen appliances. Before Richard Dominick produced The Jerry Springer, he gave television journalism its greatest moment when he interviewed the Florida beauty who had a love/hate relationship with her possessed toaster. Homegirl had the Regan MacNeil of toasters and didn't even mind it. Satan is totally an asshole, but he was a forward asshole, because he was showing himself in toast long before Jesus did.

And this is good news for those of us who have already earned a non-refundable ticket on Ninth Circle Airlines, because we now know that there's toast in Hell. Yay.

via Videogum

Posted by: Michael K


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WTF? This isn' t a joke? We were so vulnerable back in the day. The satan lives looks like it was carved by her teenage son using the font from his Metallica album.

little_rascal's picture

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 5:26am.

Happy 36th birthday, darling ESE ♥

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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

WithinReason...'s picture

You're in for good luck the ESE. *Hits you with an ice cream cake, glass of milk, and ONE ambien!* Have a great one! ☺

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

kittykatkatie's picture

i used to work for richard dominick (yes on springer) and me thinks he may have gotten too close to the toaster.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Hockey fan on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 10:59pm.

OMG Whamo, just read your post to my partner and our son and we're still laughing about the chicken outfit, the lube, the LISTEN FUCKHEAD...
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LOL! :)

Thamar's picture

Hippo Birdies Two Ewes ESE!!!

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

and now for my last post of the evening/early morning...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsB4MYuzu5k

it's for me because i made it to thirty six this morning... lets see if i get hit by a bus later, shall we?

nite/morning, all!

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

little_rascal's picture

Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 2:08am.

Who knew Dlisted had its own Penelope? http://www.hulu.com/watch/194734
==========
Hahaha La Chaylo, I've never seen this SNL! That's a good one.

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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

WithinReason...'s picture

LaChaylo, have you stopped laughing yet? ok, it's safe to take these out. *Hands you and SDR some chicharrones* Good evening to ya! ;p

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

WinterOwl22's picture

Hey, you leave LaChay and SDR alone! That is not a very good way to prove you'd aren't Angela.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

WinterOwl22's picture

Submitted by Migraineuse on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 1:55am.
OMFG. This is comedy gold!

"What kind of the voice did the devil have?"

"A very low kind of voice...I'd say he sounded like Eli Wallach."

There needs to be a website devoted to gossip about haunted appliances and abandoned couches.

*______________________________________*

Lmao I know right!?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Seems that Lachola and SDR have the jealous bitch complex.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

squirrels to the nuts!

little_rascal's picture

Submitted by Mani6 on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 2:16am.

Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 1:07am.

Yes Lil Rasc...it's a shame too because this place used be rockin' and I miss all the regs that used to post here. I guess I'll have to go on FB now too just to say say hello!

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Mani, all the old-timers are on FB, a very nice funny and loyal bunch of peeps.

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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

LaChaylo's picture

SDR, lol! Electra complex, perhaps?

Mani6's picture

Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 1:07am.

Yes Lil Rasc...it's a shame too because this place used be rockin' and I miss all the regs that used to post here. I guess I'll have to go on FB now too just to say say hello!

............................................

SpottedDogRanch's picture

LaChay - Penelope is perfection and so modest too!
I wonder if she has daddy issues?

LaChaylo's picture

Who knew Dlisted had its own Penelope? http://www.hulu.com/watch/194734

Migraineuse's picture

OMFG. This is comedy gold!

"What kind of the voice did the devil have?"

"A very low kind of voice...I'd say he sounded like Eli Wallach."

There needs to be a website devoted to gossip about haunted appliances and abandoned couches.

*______________________________________*

Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.

THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.

^Dog and UBF

I am not Angela. I have always had beautiful flawless skin that literally stops people and they compliment me. I look fifteen years younger than my age. I could credit good skincare but the truth is my father had the same stunning peaches and cream skin with blue grey eyes perfect regal facial structure and black curly hair. He was the most gorgeous man i have ever seen. He made Paul Newman look like a slouch.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

squirrels to the nuts!

little_rascal's picture

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 12:00am.

Has anybody seen Angel i lately? I liked her, she was kinda like the female version of Whamo.
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Hi, CIJ, angel_i hasn't been posting on DL recently, she's a regular on FB. Lots of great regulars left DL for FB because of the troll situation.
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

MJT,

Me too...Cam is fun and underrated, imo. Acne my ass, she's gorgeous.

Ok, so I finally got around to seeing this video and lmfao! That demonic toaster spat out fire! And to think some unknowing schmuck is probably being tortured by Satan's appliance right now after they picked it up at their local Salvation Army. But it makes good toast! Burnt to a fucking crisp!

WithinReason...'s picture

Hiya Diamond, your inside haunted house sounds like it was fun! Haven't bumped into you for a while. How you doing? ;p

@Foxxy, haha I'm teasing because I've vowed to check in here next time I need to get anything. You guys are up on all the latest! Yaaaaaasss! ;)

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Foxxy Brown's picture

@ DD -- that sounds like SO much fun!!!

@ Within -- DD asked about a product that gives a oil-free rosy glow to skin. ;-)

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Hi Withy! *Waves*

How are you?

WithinReason...'s picture

CrazyinJapan, hi to you too, before you run off! :P

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

WithinReason...'s picture

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 12:13am.
--
Hahaha Foxxy, what started the makeup discussion? Didn't read far enough back... LOL

@DiamondDogs, hi there! *waves*

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

@ Foxxy

My room mate and I had a house party. We go to extreme and decorate the front yard and inside we did a haunted house. Every year, I get asked to do tarot card readings so I did that for an hour or so. It was fun and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.
I'm with you about not going to the bars on Slutoween. Too crazy.

Foxxy Brown's picture

@ DD,

i thought it was the gorgeous you!

nah, i didn't do halloween this year [pause while my dog heaves another sigh of relief]. i was going to go to SF but changed my mind when they did the Giants world series parade that day. i was not going out to bar hop on halloween night to be surrounded by a bunch of staggering fucks who had been on an all day bender. so, i stayed home and had a good time walking the neigborhood with my friend and his trick or treating son.

what'd you do?

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

*sock slides through thread door*... *pauses*... *looks to and fro*... there they are!!

i knew that i left my pants somewhere around here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpCV2wgoxC8

*waves to all*... *sock slides out*

-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

@ Foxxy

No, that is the gorgeous Monica Bellucci.

I was a zombie this year for Halloween.

Did you dress up this year?

Foxxy Brown's picture

you are welcome, DD!

is that this year's h-ween costume? i likey!

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

@ Foxxy

Thanks hun! :-)

Foxxy Brown's picture

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Tue, 11/13/2012 - 12:07am.

i know question not addressed to me, but Smashbox Photo Finish Luminizing Primer. oil-free.

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Hi Twatty:

If you are still around, I also need some make-up advice. I'm looking for a really good product that gives that pink "dewy" look without looking oily. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks

P.S. I'm going to try out that concealer too. It sounds good!

http://www.madlyjuicy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Dewy-Skin-.jpg

agirl's picture

Oh Lord Jesus it's a FIRE! Ain't nobody got time for dat.

crazyinjapan's picture

Has anybody seen Angel i lately? I liked her, she was kinda like the female version of Whamo.

WithinReason...'s picture

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 10:56pm.
--
I thought she'd finally fixed it, actually forgot she had bad skin. Unless it's just the makeup/photoshop that have improved. haha

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Hockey fan's picture

OMG Whamo, just read your post to my partner and our son and we're still laughing about the chicken outfit, the lube, the LISTEN FUCKHEAD...

OMG LMAO

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

Angela, I ve seen close ups of your rosacea face, you should be the last one to talk about people's skin.

MissJaneTexas's picture

Thanks Within I have always thought she was so pretty...bad skin and all :)

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Hockey fan's picture

Samesame, welcome and glad you could catch up with us. I think there have been fewer postings bc everyone is burned out from the US elections. I've not been on facebook or even here in a long time. Then I caught the flu, and my dog had ACL repair surgery today. All I want is to eat without barfing, go to the bathroom without brown mud falling out of my butt, and sleep without aching.
TMI? lol.

Dog's picture

Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 10:38pm.

Submitted by Cluny Brown on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 10:17pm.
----------------------------------
That was rude and unnecessary.

^^^^

You expected more? Angela isn't known for restraint.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

WithinReason...'s picture

Hi BigBendy, long time no see.

@MJT, that avie really suits. It's a nice pic of Cam. :P

And, oh brother...

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

WithinReason...'s picture

LOL Foxxy, most of VS seems plain as t-shirts imo! I don't think they'll bother to apologize, haha. I shudder to think of what they'll come up next HAhaha

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Bigbendy:

Not really, considering what a total full-on, mean-spirited bitch she has been to me for being a Republican. Guess I imagined she was ugly inside, now it figures she has the skin to match.

Would you like me to repost some of the vile shit that she said to me or is this just a one-sided deal? And I had never addressed her.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

squirrels to the nuts!

MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 10:38pm.

You expected better? ;)

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012