Hot Slut Of The Day!
Apple’s limited-edition and highly exclusive iMirror, sold only in Texas gas stations. Yes, a Texas gas station is an authorized Apple reseller.
You’ve all probably heard about Apple’s limited-edition iSlabOfWood (termite app sold separately) sold only in a McDonald’s parking lot in South Carolina and now here’s Apple’s newest must-have product. Jalonta Freeman of Arlington, Texas was filling up her car at a gas station when a dude drove up and offered to sell her a bunch of Apple products at a major discount. With Christmas coming up, Jalonta pulled out her wallet after he told her he’d sell her a brand new $800 iPad for just $200. Jalonta didn’t think to open up the FedEx box (repeat: The FedFuckingEx Box) before the Apple merchant drove off while laughing, because we live in America and in America when somebody sells us some stolen shit, we should be able to trust that the stolen shit is the real thing. But when Jalonta opened it up, she found out that her $200 bought her a mirror covered in duct tape. Jalonta got tricked!
This surprised Jalonta, because the last time she went shopping in a gas station, she ended up with a pair of $200 polycarbonate transition eyeglass lenses and she got them for only $20! Don’t be jealous of her lenses:
Don’t laugh at Jalonta. The next time she’s hanging around with all of her friends and they’re playing on their $800 genuine iPads and one of them decides they want to look at themselves. They have to strain their fingers by touching their camera app and Jalonta just has to hold up her iMirror. No strained fingers for Jalonta. So take that.
via Arbroath