The coagulated ball of useless information in my head doesn’t know a lot of things, but it does know that Fifty Shades of Grey started out as Twilight fan fiction and a Twihard wrote it on her cell phone while taking the train to and from work. E.L. James obviously had Kristen Stewart in her head while writing that mess and KStew’s name has come up as a possibility to play the girl who gets her ass whipped in the movie. But Kristen Stewart wants nothing to do with Fifty Shades of Grey, because it makes her feel creepy on the inside. Just when you were starting to think that you were going to get through this Friday without your irises taking a tour of your upper eye sockets, KStew says this to Backstage.com (via The Sun):
“[The book] creeps me out. I’ve skimmed parts of it. When I read the first few pages describing her messy hair, I was like, ‘This is so strange.’ But it’s just so raunchy! I mean, obviously, everyone knows that. But when I see people reading it on planes and stuff, I’m genuinely creeped out. Like, you’re basically just reading porn right now! Get that blanket off your lap!”
That quote is straight out of the first chapter of Fifty Shades of BITCH PLEASE. So, let’s get this straight. Reading a stupid book about sex stuff in public is creepy and perverted, but rubbing your box against a married man tongue in a car parked in front of someone’s house is not? Okay, then. Don’t get me wrong, I judge people who read that book in public, but for a totally different reason. Why read that tame crap when you can watch hardcore porn on your iPhone instead?
Here’s Prude-ish Stewart at last night’s NYC screening of On the Road. It was very kind of KStew to let a 5-year-old scribble black marker all over he eyes like that.