A Judge Shuts Down Halle Berry’s Plan To Escape To France

Halle Berry is sick of the paparazzi getting in her life and shoving their lenses in her daughter Nahla’s face, so she came up with a plan to escape them by moving all the way to her fiance’s homeland. The only problem was that Nahla’s father Gabriel Aubry lives in Los Angeles and went to the judge to stop Halle from moving thousands of miles away. The judge either got lost in Gabriel Aubry’s luscious golden locks or the judge is sane and reasonable, because the judge sided with Gabriel. Halle can unpack the berets, because she’s not moving to France.

TMZ’s sources say that Halle only wanted to move to France, because she thought it would be safer and she wasn’t trying to erase Gabriel from their daughter’s life and make Olivier Martinez Nahla’s new father.

Gabriel Aubry is a tall drink of crazy and he’s been crazy throughout this whole custody fight, but Halle’s been crazier. You know she was trying to get Nahla away from Gabriel. If she just wanted to get away from the paparazzi, she’d move up to Bakersfield, CA or something. I’ve been to Bakersfield a few times and I’ve never seen the paparazzi there and the people are very welcoming. Case in point: I walked into a Carl’s Jr. in Bakersfield once and a fat bitch with meth face said really loudly, “Daaaayum, he’s gay!“

The judge should also block Halle Berry from every wearing those pants again. Forcing your child to be seen with you in public while you’re wearing Hammer CAPRIS is a form of child abuse.