Jermaine Jackson Doesn’t Want To Be A “Jackson” Anymore

November 8, 2012 / Posted by:

Jermaine Jackson named 2 out of his 9 children Jermajesty and Jaafar, so he obviously has his doctorate in Fucked Up Names and he’s at it again. This time Jermaine Jackson is dipping his own last name in liquid foolery. The L.A. Times says that Jermaine has gone to court and asked them to let him legally change his last name from Jackson to Jacksun. Yes, JackSUN. That sounds like the name of a lube made of orange juice. We all know that Jermaine is changing his name because he is crazy and suffers from chronic attention whoreism, but he claims he’s doing it for “artistic reasons.

If you read that last part as “artistic raisin” and then looked up at that picture, this story probably makes even more sense to you.

Before Jermaine Jackson officially becomes Jermaine Jacksun, a judge has to approve it, he has to announce his new last name in a publication and there has to be a public hearing where anyone can object the change. In other words, bitch is going to attention whore the shit out of this name change.

Jermaine Jackson looks like the broken condom baby of a chewed up piece of steak fat and the sun, so changing the “son” in his last name to “sun” is fitting. You know, though, I shouldn’t challenge the decision making skills of a California Raisin who can work every sparkle on a Zales tennis bracelet and who fills his hairline in with a Sharpie. Jermaine styles his hair to look like a melting tire, so I shouldn’t question him on anything. The bitch knows what he’s doing.

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