I know I was supposed throw a picture of Donald Trump up there, but would you rather look at a picture of a charred dingle stuck on a dog’s hairy asshole or would you rather look at a picture of a gold digging Slovenian flower? No, Melania Trump isn’t trying to seduce you. Melania is pulled so tight that she can’t open her eye holes all the way and she’s always hazy in the brain from constantly inhaling the toxic hot air that Trump farts from his pie hole. Anyway…
After RuPaul told Mitt Romney to sashay away, Victoria Jackson (the crazy one, not the make-up mogul one) pulled some “SHE IS NOT A CHRIS-CHEN-UH!” shit and then melted into a puddle of sad tears on the floor of her mental hospital cell. Victoria dug a grave for America next to where her career and sanity is buried. Meanwhile, Donald Trump shat out a whine-filled rant on Twitter (and deleted most of it later). Trump described the election the same way most of us describe his existence: disgusting, a travesty and a sham.
Donald Trump is like a flea bite on your taint and just like a flea bite on your taint, your mother tells you not to scratch it or give it any attention, but you do anyway. Brian Williams scratched at that flea bite on his taint last night when he read a bitch during his election night coverage on NBC. Brian said this about Trump:
“Donald Trump, who has driven well past the last exit to relevance and peered into something closer to irresponsible here, is tweeting tonight.”
And of course, Brian’s slap down made the mutated hacked up hairball go after him:
@bwilliams knows that I think his newscast has become totally boring so he took a shot at me last night.
The only thing more boring than @bwilliams newscast is his show Rock Center which is totally dying in the ratings—a disaster!
@bwilliams–wouldn’t you love to have my ratings?
Donald Trump is only mad, because you know that all night he was sitting at his computer waiting to type “OBAMA, YOU’RE FIRED” and he got shut down. I bet the gorgeous flower Melania Trump is secretly happy that Obama won, because Trump was too busy nailing his haters to nail her. It’s always a good day in America for Melania Trump when her husband isn’t asking her to slurp on his soggy mini dumpling dick.