Star-Spangled Nalgas

November 6, 2012 / Posted by:

The #1 enemy of the buttfuck people, Xtina, teased us buttfuck people by showing us the butt that we will never be able to fuck…. unless we’ve got about 12 hours of free time, a tow truck and two plastic tubs of petroleum jelly since that’s what it’ll take to get her out of those tight ass jeans. Xtina doesn’t wear panties, so I don’t even want to think about the chaffing that’s occurring with every step.

After whoring out The Voice with Adam Levine and Blake Shelton on Extra at The Grove last night, Xtina’s full-time escort (insert his name here, don’t make me Google it) escorted her to dinner. Xtina once again wore an outfit that a WWF wrestler wore first and better in the 80s, but I do love what she’s done to her weave. I’m only saying that, because the side of her hair looks like a pan dulce. You are doing it right when your hair looks like something found in the bakery section of Supermercado Gigante.

Delicioso! And you know when she got drunk at the end the night, she tried to eat the side of her head and looked like a puppy chasing its own tail.

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