What In The Hell Kind Of GD Makeup Is This?

There was this extremely hot veteran chola who worked in the front office at my mom's job and almost every time I saw her gorgeous face, her lips were covered with skin-colored lipstick and dark brown lip liner, and her eyes were decorated with black liquid eyeliner and frosted eye white shadow. She was a Winter on top and a Fall on the bottom. That was her signature look. But one December, she told me that she wanted to debut a new face at the company holiday party and was going to spend one of her lunch hours getting her face glamoured up at one of the makeup counters at Robinsons-May. I used to go to my mom's work after school and one afternoon I walked into the office and saw my veteran chola friend with a face that was painted up exactly the same way Kristen Stewart's face was painted up for the AFI Festival screening of On the Road in L.A. last night. Dreadful.

She looked busted and I didn't need to say it, because she said it for me. I think she said she looked like Witchy Poo (which was kind of funny since her signature look was kind of Witchy Poo-ish) and that she looked like she was going to a funeral, her funeral. If I didn't know she spent her lunch hour experimenting with her beauty, I'd just assume that she got kinky with her man and let him suck on her eyelids. Those were some hickey eyes and I wanted to hand her a frozen spoon. That taught my veteran chola friend to never ever stray away from frosted white eye shadow again.

And if a veteran chola can't pull off that look, then Kristen Stewart definitely can't.

Here's more of KStew, Garrett GiveMeHedlund and Amy Adams at last night's screening. Even though KStew's outfit fits like a Trojan Magnum on a pencil dick, I still like it. It's very Jody Watley back-up singer.

Splash, Wenn.com, Bauer Griffin

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by lt520 on Sat, 11/10/2012 - 2:33am.

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Submitted by xxxx on Wed, 11/07/2012 - 10:21pm.

In this sense,the 20th century is a real fashion era,and before that,fashion more performance for the traditional fixed custom standard efforts anastomosis,and unconsciously follow flow.From the beginning of the 20th century show the unique.Einstein's special theory of relativity and freudian psychoanalysis,Picasso's cubist paintings and Duncan anti traditional modern dance,all performance new century vitality,at that time the east
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May 4th new culture movement is also wash away old conservative,Mr and advocating please to China.Interestingly,with such a a new century,the east and west have met the same is extremely common and yet baffling problem:now we what to wear?Western women trying to from tights and Victorian dress liberate,and cut the braid,pick the red hat or cap with tassels Chinese,how to wear is the survival of a nation have become a big problem.Eastern and western world first appeared the self-consciousness of the dress culture.Free and self-conscious,become fashion development the most comfortable bed.
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The east and the west are showing clothing for the other party of the aesthetic feeling with desire,fashionable identity trend has produced certain psychological basis.After the 30 s of fashion in a landmark event,that is the designer and the birth of the brand.After the chanel,French designer dior and on the fashionable command set,then separately with their respective names the clothing brand.Brand is fashionable flags and guide,it makes the original disorder fashion consciousness towards unified social aesthetic forward.And each brand back,stood by a representative human clothing aesthetic a concept design giants.Fashionable mature,first of all should be attributed to the pursuit of freedom and beauty of the capital's women,they through the fashion found himself.

Submitted by lthsq on Wed, 11/07/2012 - 3:02am.

Submitted by CashewTime on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:21pm.

Lisbet,

I am starting to wonder if she's a troll. She fits the qualifications more and more. And don't hate feminism! no feminist I know gives a shit about makeup, not even the butch lezzies! Migraneuse gives the whole term a bad name. The biggest feminist group in my college was full of regular, makeup wearing girls who also wanted to promote and uphold equality. Most women are feminists, whether they know it or not.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 12:58pm.

Submitted by WendyNerd on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 2:21pm.

I've seen a bunch of people tell ole gray-knees over there she is a babbling moronic shit-stirrer and to stfu but IMO yours is the best... *makes you a sammich*

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 12:56pm.

LMAO at MY-GRAIN-EEZ and her uncanny ability to type a well articulated blurb while doing the dishes!!! YOU GO GIRRRRRRRLFRAAANNNNNNNNN

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by WendyNerd on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 12:51pm.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:53pm.

Every woman who was alive during the 80s has been guilty of this.

No. Wait. We're not guilty. It's the assholes who make millions by pressuring women to slap overpriced, carcinogenic glittery shit all over their faces or risk social rejection.

~!~!~!~!~

As a hardcore feminist card carrying member of NOW, kindly shut the fuck up. Stop turning everything into an anti-woman conspiracy. No one forced Kristen Stewart to look like a dumbass. No one forces me to wear make up. I rarely ever wear it and I get laid regularly. SO STFU. Are there pressures women have to deal with to live up to an unrealistic standard of beauty? Yes. Does this post have ANYTHING to do with that? No.

If you want to be a feminist, how about discussing something relevant instead of just repeating stuff you read in "The Beauty Myth".

"In the seventies, there were only three reasons why three people would be in a room together: to have sex, to snort cocaine, or to have sex on a giant pile of cocaine." --- The Cinema Snob

Submitted by Gem on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 12:27pm.

I've been fascinated by makeup since I was a kid, and I love trying all the new products. But...someone should take Kristen's makeup kit away from her, she is not getting it at all!

P.S. Make up has NOTHING to do w/feminism! It's ridiculout to imply that the use of one cancels out the ability to assert yourself as a woman, where the hell do these crazy ideas come from??

Submitted by Clio on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 11:47am.

Ikc, nast. And those shoes don't even fit. Whoever is in charge of dressing and making her up must hate her as much as the rest of us.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 10:53am.

Anyone who thinks Migraineuse is a feminist is an idiot.

Submitted by Hockey fan on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 10:41am.

Every time I think Bee Stew can't get more annoying or unattractive, she manages to astound me.

What a useless sack of shit she is. Oh wait, sacks of shit can actually be set on fire.

*******
Well, this day has turned to total butt-dust.

Submitted by Pimpcessa on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 10:38am.

@ skinny fat - Haha, yes, but you forgot "entitled, pretentious and phoney". Wonder if she's still wanting something to "fuck up her perfect world", that she was so bored with??? What a dumbass!!

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I'm your huckleberry...

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 10:14am.

This look would have been PERFECT for Halloween!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 10:01am.

i cannot abide this girl. she's an annoying snotty talentless twat who got very very very lucky.

Submitted by Schmoopy on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 9:45am.

How did this silly post turn into a diatribe about makeup and feminism? I've never thought makeup had anything to do with how feminine you are. It's more of a glamour, aesthetic, trendy thing. Just ask any drag queen.

Submitted by freckles99999 on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 9:24am.

i never truly realized what a jealous bitch i was until i found myself hating every girl on tv that my boyfriend found attractive...

top of the pile for my concentrated rage has been this HAG. i cannot believe that KRISTEN STEWART is the one he finds the most attractive. i know that this one gets to me the most because I have found her personality repugnant and her looks mediocre. thanks for proving me right with photos and commentary like yours.

i don't mind having bitches to hate.....but PLEASE let them at least be pretty/attractive and cool. i cannot stand this girl.

luckily, my boyfriend now finds her repellent because of her cheating.....

there is justice in this world.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 9:08am.

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 9:33am.

Moonstruck was on yesterday and Cher was wearing similar makeup. But on her, it works plus it was 1987..
http://www.unknownmami.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Cher.jpg
_______________________

It's because Cher has (had) lips. Luscious, full lips can wear just about any color. Turkey lips can only wear light pinks and nudes.

Submitted by treshappy on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 8:51am.

She earns a big fail for attempting to copy the models makeup in Robert Palmer's 1986 "Addicted to Love" video.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 8:41am.

Submitted by Lisbet459 on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 7:07am.

Submitted by CashewTime on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 4:00am.
==================

DON'T FEED THE TROLL.

Migrain's whole schtick is that she's, like, totally above all us other women because She Just Gets It. She has no interest in improving the lot of women; just berating us for not seeing the world exactly as she does. Remember, we are all just indoctrinated into Teh Patriarchy, and she's soooooo much better than the rest of us.

And this is why I hate feminism.

_______

How in hell can you hate feminism? Feminism has no one narrow definition. Basically, the word means "pro-woman." How can you be against that? You want to go back to the 1800s when women weren't allowed to vote or own land? Migraineuse is over the top, but her brand of feminism is not the only one.

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 8:03am.

Moonstruck was on yesterday and Cher was wearing similar makeup. But on her, it works plus it was 1987..
http://www.unknownmami.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Cher.jpg

oh and KStew's features are all smooshed to the middle of her face so it makes her chin look Leno'ish and she does not have the lips for dark colours.

Submitted by Crikey on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 7:15am.

Her outfit is far uglier than her makeup. It looks like Rupert Sanders ripped her blouse in half on the car ride over to the event.

Submitted by Lisbet459 on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 5:37am.

Submitted by CashewTime on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 4:00am.
==================

DON'T FEED THE TROLL.

And this is why I hate feminism.

Submitted by Schmoopy on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 3:46am.

OK, full confession here - whoever said that alot of people in the 80s were guilty of that look - YES! Me included. My mom used to buy me those extravagant Estee Lauder Christmas sets that you would get for a small extra $$, if you bought their perfume. Well...on Xmas day, let me tell you, I was beyond thrilled to get these things. They had at least 6 eyeshadows, 4 lipsticks, 5 nail polishes, 3 blushes, a mascara, and a mirror and brushes. Whew!

I was so proud when I managed to put at least 4 eyeshadows from that kit onto my 15 year old face, all the way up to the eyebrow! LOL One shadow went onto the crease, another was used for the lid, another for that winged look (think Genie Francis on General Hospital circa 1981), and yet another up to my thick Brooke Shields eyebrows. Oh boy! I thought I looked Beautiful!!!! And then I copied the matching chart in the kit for the right blush color, nail color and lipstick! Whoa. Oh, the 80s. People, this WAS GLAMOUR! So many people looked like this. Just watch Dynasty reruns.

The 80s are back now if you've been in stores and I have only revisited certain clothing looks. A neon Angora sweater and a leopard print pair of flats. Otherwise, no. Heh, heh, Kstew is just being TRENDYYYYYY.

Submitted by Thamar on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 3:08am.

Uh oh, lotta lines on that forehead. Kristen Stewart will be poking that botulism needle in her face soon.

Submitted by CashewTime on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 2:30am.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:53pm.

Migraineuse, there are plenty of cultures who for centuries have been "decorating" themselves, and in some in which men do also. As for modern women, we also have a choice to say no to decorating ourselves. I don't wear makeup, except for about maybe 5 occasions a year: on new year's eve, halloween, and maybe some other party or date nights. And I don't feel socially rejected one bit. People like that they know what I look like, and they find it refreshing. A clean appearance is all you need, but those who want to decorate themselves have a right to do so. However, I will agree with a small part of your point by saying that in some corporate environments, makeup, at least on the lips, seems to be a must. But overall, I think that instead of spreading the gospel of "don't wear makeup, it's sexist!" how about spreading the gospel of "develop your talents and reach your goals" to young girls or "like yourself as you are" if you're so worried about women and their insecurities? A grassroots effort to educate young girls about how to reach their aspirations while maintaining spiritual and physical health (with a focus on health in lieu of thinness) would be much more beneficial for combating the shallower symptoms. I also think makeup is fun for artistic expression-I enjoy putting it on my friends. That has nothing to do with men. I just like pretty colors! This argument about makeup is just not worth the energy, imo, and I'm a feminist, and proud of it. I just think we can allocate our energies to more purposeful directions than attacking such a shallow issue as makeup. And as everyone here has already said: this girl looks like crap and should go natural. Doesn't that counter your argument in itself?

Submitted by nathanfoster on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 2:02am.

I like the eyes and I like the lips. But outfit is not good.

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Submitted by EmbalmerKitty on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:51am.

Yahoo just called her a "Red Carpet Vixen". Any one who believes that KSpew is a vixen should have their eyes plucked out by blind people.

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Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto. - Vera Donovan

Submitted by KA on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:29am.

she did that herself. that's no professional job.
i also like how everyone slaps the "cheap and awful" label on wet n wild. a lot of makeup artists love wet n wild products. they aren't the products they were when we were young girls - some of them are actually great. a lot of women mistakenly think that more $$ equals better quality and that isn't always true. just my 2 pence.

and jesus fucking christ what is she wearing.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK

Submitted by Bossy on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 11:53pm.

This makeup is clearly event make up. It's meant to be seen from far away so it has to be heavier and have a lot of contrast. If you look at the full body shots her face looks fine.

Submitted by dementa on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 11:44pm.

Submitted by undinespragg on Mon, 11/05/2012 - 1:08am.

Well, at least it can't go much further forward before we run out of retro. Then I guess flapper fashions will have to come back. Or corsets.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by undinespragg on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 11:38pm.

Can we just be happy that she covered up her cankles?

I cannot deal with 90s shit coming back in style. Please do not let this be happening! It is making me feel so fucking old.

Submitted by Andrei on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 11:28pm.

I don't much understand the Stewart hate. I can pretty much see why folks say she has only one emotion on her face at all times, but I don't think she's annoying at all. I think she's really kinda pretty and it's not like I go and watch movies that I'm not interested in. Thus, I have no opinion of her in Twilight.

Submitted by C6.2 wine and co. on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 11:03pm.

Diana, same here. Spent half of my teen paychecks on Madonna rubber bracelets and Wet n Wild junk. *fesses, side-eyes self, swigs vino

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♫ Yo ho, yo ho, a P.noir life for me...♪♫
caprica six was/is here

Submitted by Gingah on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 11:02pm.

She's skinny and beautiful. Easy to hate on this bitch.

Submitted by DianaDeath on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 11:00pm.

I'm totally guilty of doing this shit in the '90s.

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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK

Submitted by Sookie on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 10:58pm.

She's gross.
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08

Submitted by C6.2 wine and co. on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 10:54pm.

Fking, this is circa 1981 corner bodega 'Wet n Wild' omg!-buy-one-get-one-free high school half-your-McDonalds paycheck shit. Her only saving grace is her brows. Christ.
*takes a wet-ones to comp screen

eta, "Winter on top and a Fall on the bottom." this

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♫ Yo ho, yo ho, a P.noir life for me...♪♫
caprica six was/is here

Submitted by kelmattzz on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 10:37pm.

Yes' what a strong make up! i guess they portraying a vampire stewart here.

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Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 9:23pm.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 10:05pm.

She did the big make-up faux pas! Dark lips do not belong with dark eyes. You got to pick a team and stick with it.
___________________

Amen, sister. That's just makeup 101!

Submitted by anonymous7643 on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 9:09pm.

Her top lip is too thin to carry that color.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:52pm.

I can hardly wait until this Twilight shit goes away. It will be remade in about five years, but some new unknowns. Little Bus K Stew and Smelly are passed their sell by date.

Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:50pm.

She only looks good with that lipstick when her mouth is closed. Otherwise, it looks stupid and draws attention to her weird mouth/chin.)

She probably thought her stunt with the director/subsequent break-up would open up more opportunities for her like Katie Holmes... even though the circumstances are totally different.

Submitted by Notyourmother on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:49pm.

In every photo in which her hands are visible, with at least one of her hands she's fidding with her fingernails. What's that about?

"I believe we are looking for a menstruating child who is waterproof to a depth of fifty meters."

Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:46pm.

KStew and Garrett have the same guilty look on their faces as Brad Pitt and Ang. Jolie had at "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". I think they boned at some point, but it fell apart at some point.

Good call Toxi, she DOES look like Lisa Marie Presley! I googled her People magazine cover from 1993 and she looks almost identical! http://magazine-covers.lucywho.com/people-magazine-united-states-march-1...

(KStew also has similar makeup to when she announced her marriage to MJ!)

Submitted by oceanlover998 on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:44pm.

...I'm actually surprised by the relative kindess being displayed by y'all here...

...maybe it's cuz she really does look borderline Special Needs as someone here called it?...

...Hey I have as much compassion as anyone, but she's not 'Special'...she just looks f***ing ghastly...

...that last thumb is about as bad as she's ever looked...

....Addams Family meets and canniablizes Mary Kay...

...f***ing atrocious...

________________________________________________
...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...

Submitted by harperharper on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:43pm.

She reminds me of a fruit bat

Submitted by dementa on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:41pm.

I guess her little PR stunt with that director backfired in a big way. Not only did she get shut out of the prospective sequel, but she discovered that NOBODY ACTUALLY LIKES HER. Nobody likes her, nobody respects her, and everyone thinks she's a shit actress.

Now she's trying to regain her idiot fangirls who make up the Twilight fanbase by pretending to be back together with Unicorn Hair, pretending to smile, pretending to be the pretty princess they want to be… too little, too late.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sun, 11/04/2012 - 8:35pm.

She did the big make-up faux pas! Dark lips do not belong with dark eyes. You got to pick a team and stick with it.