Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 1, 2012 / Posted by:

Jason Brock, the yodeling disco ball on X-Factor USA.

I only watched X-Factor’s first live show last night, because I wanted to see if Brit Brit would temporarily come out of her Ritalin and Lithium-induced haze to use Khloe Kardashian’s razor sharp wookie nipples to cut the puppet strings operating her arms and finally quit that bitch. Brit Brit didn’t do that. RoBrit stuck with the script that was programmed into her hard drive by saying the same shit about every performance: “It was amazing. It was the best. You really surprised me. Sam Lufti, you’re a demon from hell and I hope you burn in the bowels of the ninth circle. That last part was me, Daddy Spears talking. I added it into Britney’s script, because it had to be heard! Oh, and that performance was awesome. Beep beep boop boop.”

Every mess of a boring performance was like something leftover from the worst episode of the Mickey Mouse Club in the 90s. They all looked like the 90s took a sloppy wet queef on them and they sounded worse. But there was one bright, glittery gay rhinestone shimmering in that trash pile of tragicness and that gay rhinestone was Jason Brock. If the diluted essence of Liberace and the singing voice of a fat black woman possessed Jack Black’s body at the same time, you’d get Jason Brock. Jason Brock’s heat melted the shirts off of his back-up dancers and he made the b-hole on every gay angel pucker until they farted out glitter from the skies.

And he also molested AC Slater….

I doubt I’ll watch that X-Factor shit ever again, but I really don’t need to, because the only thing I needed to see was Jason Brock pinching the 8-pack on AC Slater’s ass.

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