Earlier, I linked to this story from InTouch about how West Coast mess turned East Coast mess Amanda Bynes was walking around the main area of Beach Bum Tanning in NYC with nothing but her crazy showing. Bitch was all the way naked. Everyone who was there now knows if the hair on her ass lips is blond, dirt blond or doody blond. Everyone who was there now knows if she’s got silver dolla nipples or quarter nipples. They know Amanda like that. I didn’t think anything of it, because for a crazy who spent 2 hours in a dressing room and locked herself in a cupcake shop bathroom for 30 minutes, pulling some Lady Godiva Gone Crazy shit in the middle of a tanning salon didn’t seem that bizarre to me. But Amanda tells UsWeekly that InTouch must be downing the same crazy pills she is, because she was never naked in a tanning salon. Multi-millionaire retirees don’t do that!
“I’m suing In Touch for printing a fake story. I’m not ‘troubled.’ I don’t get naked in public. I’m 26, a multi-millionaire, retired. Please respect my privacy.”
That is the line of the day and we should all use it every chance we get. No, I’m not 26, I’m not a multi-millionaire and I’m not retired (although I do sit around in my underwear all day and constantly yell at everybody, so that can be argued), but I’m still going to use that line. The next time my credit card company calls and asks why I haven’t paid my bill in 3 months, I’ll just say, “I’m 26, a multi-millionaire, retired. Please respect my privacy.” That’ll stop them.
And I believe Amanda. Amanda wasn’t naked. Amanda was wearing an invisible cloak that she created with her MIND. Multi-millionaire retirees have those kind of powers.