The chunk just keeps melting off of Jessica Simpson (and no, I’m not going to say that Papa Joe is using her melted chunk for butt lube. I’m not going to….) and she showed off her new multi-million dollar Weight Watchers body by dressing up as a Scottish wench for Halloween. This is the hottest Chestica has looked in centuries and I’m not only saying that because her chichi balls are bigger than that baby’s body. I’m only saying that, because she looks like a replica of Drag Race Willam in the face.
Jessica dressed her daughter up as a rooster (or maybe she’s a shower puff) and her fiance, who her family refers to as “Oh, You’re Still Here,” dressed up as Braveheart Mel Gibson. Since he’s Mel Gibson for Halloween, I’m guessing he’s going to take it all the way by screaming at Jessica to blow him before Jacuzzi. They’ll eventually compromise by slathering strawberry Fluff on his peen. Peen and Fluff is only 2 Weight Watchers points. I checked.
And when Whatshisname is done with that wig, he needs to give it to Papa Joe. Anything is better than the bleached mid-life crisis that’s on Papa Joe’s head right now.