Just like I did once in 1988 (and 1998… and 1999… and 2000), Ellen DeGeneres dressed in drag for Shallowqueen and she did while getting a bonus check from Cover Girl. Ellen dropped a wig on her head and strapped on a peek-a-boo ass that looked more real than Kim Kardashian’s to come out on stage as her fellow Cover Girl Sofia Vergara. I can already here one of my hating aunties saying that Ellen’s accent sounds more authentic than Sofia’s. My hating aunt is always saying shit like, “Sofia Vergara’s accent is so fake! She is such a stereotype! She’s so embarrassing! Now hold my plate of rice con frijoles so I can go dance barefoot in front of that mariachi band. Ayeyayyayayaya!“
And I’m not going to talk about those sneaker shoes. I’ll talk about them when Brit Brit eventually wears them to go to Del Taco.