Daytime TV Loses A Silver Fox
On MahBoo 369me tonight, Anderson Cooper’s beautiful, angelic face will be splattered with loads of salty liquid as he chases Hurricane Sandy on the Jersey Shore and my beat, demonic face will be covered in salty tears, because Telepictures has kicked my emotions right in the taint by canceling Anderson Live! And yet, Jeff Probst still breathes on daytime TV. This life ain’t right.
The New York Times says that after its second season ends, Anderson Live will be cremated and its ashes will be turned into a diamond ring that the Silver Fox will wear on his pinky, so he’ll never forget the days when he was a daytime talk show star. After the first season of Anderson’s talk show delivered lukewarm ratings, they re-vamped it by bringing in co-hosts and changing the set. It didn’t work. Anderson will stop making new shows this summer and there won’t be a third season. The Silver Fox said this to the NY Times:
“I am very proud of the work that our terrific staff has put into launching and sustaining our show for two seasons, I am grateful to Telepictures for giving me the opportunity, and I am indebted to the audience, who have responded so positively. I look forward to doing more great shows this season, and I’m sorry we won’t be continuing, but I have truly enjoyed it.”
If the success of TV shows weren’t measured by ratings, but were instead measured by how many hos fap to it, then Anderson Live would be the number one show in the country! Okay, the number one show in California! Okay, the number one show in Los Angeles! Okay, the number one show in my apartment! But in all seriousness, maybe this shit is for the best. I know Anderson is a serious journalist and wanted to bring us serious news like updates on Tan Mom, but when I watched him go spray tanning with that piece of wookie trash Snooki, it hurt me. I don’t want to see my Silver Fox like that.