Since Miley Cyrus is going around lately looking like a 1990s hooker, it took me a minute to realize this wasn’t Miley in her usual grocery store-going outfit. This is Julia Roberts’ niece and Eric Roberts’ daughter Emma Roberts going to a Halloween party with her dude Evan Roberts from American Horror Story (Note: His last name is Peters, but I felt like I really needed to make you overdose on Roberts by typing the last name Roberts one more time. Roberts.) Because Emma Roberts really wanted young bitches to come to her all night and say, “OHMYGAWD, you’re dressed like your auntie in that old movie that plays on AMC. How cute!“, she dressed up like her auntie in Pretty Woman.
Julia Roberts never looked like a real-life pussy peddler to me and neither does Emma Roberts, so she pulled off the faux hooker look. But it’s Evan Peters I’m throwing hate at. Dude didn’t even dress up. Don’t try to tell me that he’s wearing a costume, because I refuse to believe he is. That’s how he normally dresses, because that’s how everyone in L.A. normally dresses. Evan missed out on a huge opportunity. Evan could’ve thrown a severe white wig on his head, put icy blue contacts in his eyes, bought a black ruffled hair bow from a store that specializes in hair accessories from the early 90s for bitchy toddlers and gone as the most pivotal character in Pretty Woman. Evan could’ve been the Snobby Saleswoman #2 to Emma Roberts’ Vivian. BIG MISTAKE! HUGE!
No post about Pretty Woman is complete without the original GOOP, Marie. Mitt Romney should’ve picked Marie as his running mate, because nobody hates on the poor like she does.