This Is The Face Of A Man Who Once Had Butt Sex With A Coke Pill

October 27, 2012 / Posted by:

Yesterday, we larned (typo and it stays, because I want to speak with a Honey Boo Boo accent today) that Rod Stewart didn’t have to get his stomach pumped, because he never overdosed on sailor cum. Uh huh. And today, we’re learning that back during his drug days, Rod Stewart regularly got on all fours and begged to be butt banged hard by a coke pill. Yes, we know Rod Stewart like THAT now. I don’t like it either.

In his new memoirs Rod Stewart: Farting Up Coke and Barfing Up Cum, he writes that he wasn’t ever addicted to the bad shit in a serious way, but he did dabble in drugs and found creative ways to get high. But Rod writes that his bandmate Ronnie Wood was hooked on coke and didn’t want to mess up his nose, so they shoved coke pills up their no-nos. Rod and Ronnie were both coke’s bottom bitch. Rod explained it all to Access Hollywood (via NYDN):

“We found another method of taking the drug. We put them in a little pill like the French do them, (a) suppository. We did that for a little while. Are we still on the air?”

Lindsay Lohan’s Hoover of an asshole isn’t impressed. Coke suppository? That’s amateur hour. LiLo can stand with her back facing a fat line of coke 100 feet away and all her b-hole has to do is inhale just a little bit and BOOM! Bitch’s butt sucks up that line before anybody even notices.

You know, I’m all for sticking what ever it is you want up your own sugar tunnel. If it makes your nipples sweat and does you right, then go for it. But I CAN’T with snorting coke up your ass. Don’t give me that “but it numbs it good” shit. If you want to numb your anus, just make it watch Brad Pitt’s Chanel commercial. It will knock out before he can say “journey.” It will go to bed hating you, but it will still go to bed. Besides, do you really want coke breath of the butt and do you want your ass lips to start grinding? No peen wants to go near grinding ass lips. Deal breaker.

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