That is the only reasonable explanation I could come up with for why Meat Loaf caught, beat, skinned, cooked, ate, threw up, ate again, shat out and stomped on the song “America the Beautiful” at a Mitt Romney campaign event yesterday. John Rich, Big Kenny and Randy Owens all came out and sang normal, but then Meat Loaf opened his mouth and out came a flaming bag of drunk squirrels. The bat went back to Hell after listening to this mess. Meat Loaf broke it down like an evangelical preacher trying to scream the demon out of you. I kept waiting for Meat Loaf to put his palm against Romney’s forehead. I rebuke this shit.
And can we just get to the part where Meat Loaf apologizes and checks into a treatment center for “exhaustion.” First, Meat Loaf goes wild on America’s sweetheart Gary Busey and then he kills “America the Beautiful.” There’s a chair in a mental hospital admitting office that’s waiting for Meat Loaf.