Taylor Swift Isn’t Going To Be A Kennedy After All

October 25, 2012 / Posted by:

You know how flaky a 12-year-old trapped in the body of a 22-year-old Strawberry Shortcake character is? One minute, she’s trying to become a Kennedy by fucking on every Kennedy and the next minute she’s over it and moving on to the next thing. UsWeekly says that after a couple of months of serious Kennedy stalking, Taylor Swift is done with the Kennedys, because she has broken up with 18-year-old Connor Kennedy. At least they’ll always have Hyannis Port…. and the inevitable album she’ll write about this mess.

UsWeekly’s source says that TayNor isn’t over, because the FBI threatened to arrest her for always kidnapping Conor Kennedy and forcing him to have tea parties with her yarn dolly collection in the replica of the Smurf Village she had built in her backyard. They broke up, because Taylor’s too busy promoting her latest musical burn book:

“They quietly parted ways a while ago. It was just a distance thing. No hard feelings. They’re fine. It’s been over a month since they’ve even seen each other. With her promotion for Red, she has no time off until the end of the year.”

What I’m taking that to mean is that when Taylor Swift recently tried to crawl into Conor’s bedroom window in the middle of the night, Ethel Kennedy tased her ass and released the dogs on her. Taylor finally got the hint. Ethel Kennedy only said those nice things about Taylor, because she was trying to throw that boy-eating, squint-eyed country broom bitch up. No simple slut is going to write a song about HER grandson.

And I really hope Taylor Swift turns her Cape Cod mansion into a museum dedicated to the fall of the Kennedys.

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