Donald Trump’s “October Surprise” vs. A Fox Burying Marshmallows

Donald Trump dropped his huge bombshell that was supposed to send the election off the rails, and as expected, it’s about as explosive as a flea’s follow-up queef. Trump didn’t say that Obama’s nose swallowed the Lohan powder during his college days. Trump didn’t say that the Obamas almost got divorced one time a million years ago. Trump’s huge announcement is that he’ll write a $5 million check to Obama’s charity of choice if the president releases all of his college records, applications and passport stuff. I need that $5 million so I can build a time machine and go back to the 80s to kick my young self in the face for buying the Trump board game at a garage sale.

Obama has until 5pm on Halloween to hand over all those stupid documents or Donald Trump is ripping up that $5 million check. Can the entire $5 million go to the FDTTACSSCOHBEF (Feed Donald Trump To Ann Coulter So She Chokes On His Bloated Ego Foundation), because I might chip in a few coins if it can. This greasy cheese bubble-looking twat.

You shouldn’t even bother listening to what that talking merkin has to say. Just watch this video of a fox eating and burying marshmallows instead:

This fox would never EVER blackmail a president…. unless that president had 5 million bags of marshmallows and then he might.